Also brace yourselves -- this is gonna be a long and image-heavy one...
So Eden is off to the Moon Dance, despite being on probation. I'm hoping they explain why it's called the Moon Dance at some point, because if these people live underground, I highly doubt they're going to be seeing the moon at all. And I haven't seen any indication that "moon" is synonymous with "month" in this universe, which seems to be a common thing in a lot of fantasy and speculative fiction.
If she focused on her feet moving ahead, she wouldn't give in to the paralyzing fear that gripped her. What if one of her co-workers saw her and reported her illegal leave to Bramford? -- (p. 33)
Yes, this again...
Maybe this is just me being nitpicky, but I'd have picked a different word than "illegal." Unless Bramford's part of the government (and as far as I can see he's just a businessman and has nothing to do with Uni-Gov), taking an unapproved day of leave would be against the rules, but not necessarily illegal, as "illegal" suggests breaking government laws instead of work policies. Perhaps Foyt meant "illicit" or "clandestine" or even "unapproved?" Then again, she's already made it clear that she's not good at picking appropriate words for any occasion...
She couldn't think about the risk or she might lose her nerve and return home. Never mind, she simply had to reach the regional plaza where her Dark Prince waited. -- (p. 33)
Maybe another nitpick, but I am getting sick and tired of Dark Prince being thrown around all the time. We get it, he's black, shut up about it. And by continuously using this term, Eden proves that she only cares about Jamal because of his skin color. Does Foyt realize that preferring someone because of their skin color can be just as racist as hating someone because of their skin color? Did she TRY to make her protagonist such a racist little brat?
We get some snippets of description of life in the tunnels, including Coals riding bicycles or in rickshaws. Um... they have super-duper holographic technology, but not high-tech transportation? Did they just blow all their resources on the World Band and run out of funds for hovercraft or personal hoverboards?
Then again, this wouldn't be the first sci-fi series
to just randomly throw in a rickshaw...
Also, if this society lives in underground tunnels, it would make far more sense to have a mass transit system, such as a train, than for people to scoot around on bikes and rickshaws. (She even mentions such a mass-transit system later in the chapter, which renders the bikes and rickshaws redundant.) Tunnels and bicycles don't sound like a healthy mix to me, and if the tunnels are as overcrowded as Eden claims they are, then there's very little benefit to even having a bicycle -- ever tried to ride a bike through a crowd?
We also get mentions of military sirens (but no reason why they'd be going off -- are the Combs under attack?) and vendors hawking wares from recessed stalls in the walls. There's also mention of dozens of languages and how Eden's sensors automatically translate everything to English, though if society has been trapped underground for very long, you'd think they'd have established a common language by now.
Oh, and we're also treated to this LOVELY snippet.
She suspected that each and every Coal passerby wanted to hurt her, though the statistical odds against that were high. -- (p. 33)
Foyt... you do realize that this is exactly how many RACIST people feel today when around black people? Did the irony of making your main character terrified of black people not strike you at any point? Yes, I'm sure that there are black people today who are scared of being hurt by white people, but it's far more common for it to be the opposite, for white people to automatically assume the worst of any black person -- just look at all the recent shootings of unarmed black people by cops and others who jumped the gun when confronting someone of color.
I have no idea if this is how Foyt intended to write Eden -- if she's supposed to be racist and having her let go of her prejudices will be her eventual character development -- or if Foyt's just massively ignorant of how her main character is appearing to the reader. Either way, Eden is one heck of an unpleasant protagonist. Even Bella Swan wasn't THIS unlikable.
Yes, we're still on the first page of the chapter. I warned y'all...
"How can you read this?"
"Because I'm a masochist at heart, Gaston."
Eden's still panicking about being outside her room as she heads for the dance, and she's sweating enough that she's worried about it messing up her coating. She also remarks that it's "only a hundred and ten degrees Fahrenheit in the tunnel. Not bad for a spring night."
Foyt IS aware that even if your skin is dark, whether naturally or artificially, you can STILL die of heatstroke, right? At a hundred and ten degrees Eden and everyone else who's spent very long in the tunnels should be having major health problems. We've just had a hundred-and-ten-degree heat spell in my area and it's led to people being hospitalized, even to deaths. If a hundred and ten is mild for the tunnels, why isn't the entire population of the Combs DEAD by now?
Eden's wearing high heels and a techno dress tonight -- and no, I have no idea what a techno dress is and Google Image gave me fifty different types of "techno dress" to choose from. Must be a future thing, though we don't get a very good description of it other than it's frayed and losing its sheen.
There's a high-speed bullet train picking up passengers (again, why ride bikes and rickshaws in the tunnels when there's a perfectly good mass transit system?), and Eden waits for the line to die down before getting on. Two drunk Coals are right behind her, just to provide the "big scary black man" stereotype and justify Eden's fright. So much for trying to defy stereotypes, Foyt...
The back section of the train is reserved for Pearls, which is the first realistic depiction of black-against-white racism so far in the book. I was expecting more of this than just "Coals hate Pearls and want to kill them," but I guess I was expecting too much from a lady who thinks Pearl is a racist slur.
Yes, tell us again how these are worthless
and weak, Foyt... and you ARE aware pearls
come in other colors, even black, right?
While on the train, Eden shows off telepathic skills. Okay, not really, but she can apparently feel the negative emotions coming off of everyone on the train. Which is reasonable to an extent -- most people can read the emotions of others to some degree -- but the way it's described here makes Eden seem almost superhuman. Or she's just jumping to conclusions, which is entirely possible too.
She felt a malevolent current coursing through the riders on the transport. Not only from Coal to Pearl, or from Tiger's Eye to Amber, but within each racial group. The Uni-Gov got it wrong. The monthly Moon Dance usually left a wake of mayhem throughout each zone. -- (p. 35)
I say again -- why doesn't the Uni-Gov just keep everyone in their rooms and pull a Matrix instead of forcing everyone to mingle if they hate each other so much? They certainly have the technology. And zone? We've heard nothing about zones up to this point... is this going to get explained at all or is it just another silly term that's going to fall by the wayside?
Eden wonders about Ms. Polka-Dot Bikini (from her Beauty Map in the first chapter) and what she'd think of this ruined, hateful world. Then we get an info-dump as Eden starts thinking about her father's experiment, and how it'll supposedly save mankind. Too bad we couldn't have seen this info firsthand instead of getting an info-dump flashback right now...
Oh, and Eden's father never let her in on the experiment -- Eden is just SO SMART that she figured out what he was doing herself. Guh... Mary Sue levels rising... though so far the only indication that Eden is smart is that she knows a lot of Latin scientific names. Still not convinced.
Eden's father's big plan? An "Interspecies Structural Adaptation." A.K.A. making humankind into a race of furries.
...I REALLY wish I was making that part up.
On a random note, I had no idea there were goat
furries until this moment...
Only her crazy Father would think of implanting a human being with genetic material from key animals that thrived in the hottest climates. Only he might succeed, too. His secret approach to programming the epigenome -- the genetic master control for DNA -- allowed him to skirt the pesky problem of one species rejecting another's code.
(Kenya's note: So we're not going to try to undo the damage we did to the Earth, we're just gonna hack our DNA to get out of our own mess? Okay then...)
This wasn't going to be some mild genetic exchange, either. Valuable DNA had been gathered from nearly extinct species with tremendous effort and probably a lot of Bramford's uni-credits.
(And Bramford is still supposed to be the bad guy? Seems to me he should be seen as an ally to the heroes, not a villain -- oh wait, he's a Coal. Of COURSE he has to be evil, silly me...)
The primary genetic donor was the ultimate jungle predator, a jaguar, Panthera onca. (New drinking game, drink every time a pointless Latin name is thrown in.) Even better, a melanistic cat with a black coat had been found. Its coloring would not only increase resistance to solar radiation, but also minimize the appearance of camouflage spots, for vanity's sake. (If you're working on saving humankind, why are you worried about vanity? Why are we still going on about "black is beautiful" even with animals? And for the last time, just because something is black doesn't mean it's immune to solar radiation!)
The jaguar's only natural enemy, the green anaconda, Eunectes murinus, contributed its cold-blooded resistance to heat. (Most nature websites I've looked at says that even the anaconda isn't a predator toward the jaguar, and actually heat can be even more deadly to cold-blooded animals than to warm-blooded, because they can't regulate their internal temperatures.) The third donor in this potent cocktail was the Harpy Eagle, Harpia harpyja, the most powerful raptor in the world. It could spot a bug from a hundred yards in the air, and its keen vision had been added to the mix. (Don't know how super-vision is supposed to help defend you against heat...)
Land, water, and air -- a brilliant killing machine. (Again, what does this have to do with protecting you against heat?)
If her father's work succeeded, a Pearl might be able to withstand solar radiation as well as, or even better than, a Coal. Maybe then Pearls would no longer be treated like garbage. And maybe -- did Eden dare think it -- even she might be beautiful. -- (p. 36-37)
Still on about being beautiful, are we, Eden? Gah, you're not only racist, you're the shallowest human being I've ever met in a work of fiction. *gags*
So... basically Mr. Newman's plan to save the world is to turn all the living humans in the world into animal-human hybrids -- essentially furries. Seriously? THAT is the master plan? This is so stupid I can't even laugh at it. How did anyone decide that turning the world's population into cat/snake/bird people would make everyone magically immune to solar radiation? What is the logic behind this? Did ANY thought go into this plan -- either on the characters' end or the author's end? I have a feeling the answer on both counts is a resounding "no."
And yes, I know DNA splicing goes on today, and that scientists mix all kinds of DNA together to create new chimera-creatures -- and the ethics of all that is a can of worms I don't care to open in this blog. But I get the feeling that this isn't how it works at all. I can only imagine what kind of rage-fit an actual geneticist would have upon reading this chapter.
I know Prowl's not a scientist, but I think he'd be
pretty upset by the insult to logic that is this book
And even if we give Foyt the benefit of the doubt and assume that, in this futuristic alternate reality, gene splicing DOES work this way... wouldn't it make more sense to use desert animals for the DNA sources? Fennec foxes, horned toads, kangaroo rats, roadrunners, armadillos, jackrabbits, and other animals that are biologically suited to living in hot, waterless climates? (Though a lot of that has to do more with their behaviors, such as staying out of the sun and venturing out mostly at night to hunt and forage, but still...) The again, those creatures aren't pretty or badass like jaguars, pythons, and eagles... but still, if you wanted awesome as well as practical, go for a cougar/rattlesnake/desert hawk mix, not jungle animals.
Eden's dad, understandably, is pretty irritated that she figured it out and warns her not to tell anyone else -- it's dangerous and illegal. Apparently Bramford's only helping so he can use the discovery to get power for himself, but he's promised to be fair to Mr. Newman and his daughter, so it's hard to fault him for that. Also this is apparently "the biggest leap in evolution since man discovered fire." Won't the furries be happy to hear THAT...
For the record, folks, I have nothing personally against most furries. The furries I've met happen to be very nice people who just happen to like anthropomorphic animals and/or occasionally dressing up as them. And while they get a bad rap on most of the Internet, I'm a grown woman who collects robot toys, so I can't exactly point fingers. But this book, in addition to being ill-researched and very confused in its approach to racism, is also toting turning the world's population into furries as a serious solution to the global warming problem. I'm sure even a lot of furries would think that's laughable.
Oh, and apparently despite her father's warning, Eden told someone. Three guesses who.
Eden never had intended to tell anyone. But then, Jamal wasn't just anyone. It had seemed only natural to share her life with him. Besides, he liked smart women. But if she were honest, she'd have to admit she really wanted him to know that one day she might be more desirable. -- (p. 38)
WHAT PART OF "DON'T TELL ANYONE" DID YOU NOT UNDERSTAND, YOU LITTLE TWAT?! Did your father say "don't tell anyone but Jamal" or "don't tell anyone but your Dark Prince" or "don't tell anyone except if you feel like it and the guy is hot, then it's perfectly okay?" No! Do you realize what you've done, you little self-centered... *grumblegrumblegrumble*
Gah... they say it's a good sign when a villain in a book makes you want to reach in and strangle them. What does it say when it's the book's protagonist that inspires the murderous feelings in you? All I can say is, if this DOESN'T come back to bite her in the aft at some point, I'm gonna hunt Foyt down just so I can throw this book at her head.
So an hour later the train finally stops at the Regional Hall, where the dance is. Eden gets in line to get off, only to come face to face with two FFP soldiers with "berets over their shaved heads," which makes me think less of a KKK ripoff and more of mimes, but whatever.
The larger of the duo, a blue-black giant, smiled at her and licked his lips. His tall, skinny friend laughed. -- (p. 38)
Black person being literally described as black! Take a drink!
I will NEVER get tired of this GIF...
And of course, the two Coals have to harass Eden as she gets off the train, because despite Foyt's insistence that this book is about defying racial stereotypes, she has to indulge in the classic "racist white girl's nightmare" of two scary black men targeting an innocent white girl out on her own. *retch* And even worse, we get a "childhood ditty" that I can't imagine ANY parent wanting to teach their child:
Little Pearly whirly
lost inside the mines
tossed from Coal to Coal
in fear she whines
"I'm sorry, Mother
he said he only wanted
to see my white skin shine."
Yeah, you read that right... a RAPE song. A song about a white girl being attacked by a gang of black men. No wonder this book was self-published -- any legitimate publisher with any shred of decency would have set the manuscript on fire and run screaming from this bit.
Seriously, I get sick and tired of authors using rape as a cheap plot device in even the best of books. And for Foyt to indulge in it here -- and make a racist caricature of it, no less -- is just horrific. How can she claim this book is meant to be anti-racist when it indulges in some of the most horrible racist imagery and caricatures at every opportunity? It's almost like this book was written by a white supremacist who's trying to scream "Look! This is what the world will become if black people are in charge! Hide your white women and protect yourselves!"
(And the writer in me manages to shake off the horror enough to say that the rhymes in this song are forced and there's no sense of meter or rhythm whatsoever, but frankly, there's nothing salvageable in that song anyhow. Or most of this book, for that matter.)
"Leave me alone," Eden said, shakily. "Someone is waiting for me. Someone important -- one of your people."
"He won't mind if we share a little Pearl stew," Squeaky said. -- (p. 39)
Ugh. Just... ugh.
Eden tries to scream, one of the Coals pulls a knife, and Eden's positive she's about to be killed... and chapter ends. Thank Primus, I dunno how much more of that I could take.
What Foyt fails to realize is that there's far more to racism than just "hurting and killing the people you don't like." Yes, that's part of racism, but the greater part of it is dividing people -- having separate schools, restaurant sections, drinking fountains, buses and bus sections, etc., and giving one group preference over another group based on skin color or any other factor. Racists who want actual violence against people of a different race are actually fairly rare -- it's less about "kill 'em all" and more about "keeping them in their place" or "you can't trust them." And while the more extreme versions of racism (the recent cop shootings, the KKK's lynching and burning, the Holocaust during WWII) are certainly far more attention-grabbing, almost everyone can agree they're very wrong -- it's the subtler versions of racism that are more insidious and that deserve to be railed against.
But in Eden's world, racism apparently means that you live in fear of being raped and killed every day, but otherwise aren't oppressed all that much. And while fearing for your life is a form of oppression, she seems to think that that's all there is to it. And unfortunately, her view of racism looks less like actual racism and more like a hyperbolic vision of the future by an actual racist.
I'm a teetotaler and I still feel like I need a freaking drink after this chapter...
