So our protagonists are on a new jet heading to who knows where, and Eden's in a happy drug haze at the moment. Why do so many dystopian novels think that making everyone a drug addict is the way to go? It's probably meant to be a critique on how making drug use not only legal but government-supported is a way to placate the masses, but anymore it feels like one of those elements that dystopian books incorporate simply because it's a trademark of the genre. Much like the requisite "Chosen One" prophecy in fantasy -- it's an element generally wedged in not because it fits the story, but because "oh, my story is part of [this genre] and so needs [this element] to work."
Also call me old-fashioned, but having a protagonist that's a drug addict makes me lose some measure of sympathy for them. Yes, I understand addiction's a disease that's difficult to fight, but at the same time, people choose to take that first step to addiction. And I didn't have much sympathy to spare for Eden in the first place, so making her an addict doesn't help things.
Moving on...
Eden's repeating her "stone in a cave" mantra again, but it's not helping. Bramford's working on an "old-fashioned computer," (apparently no one uses them because they're the "archaic, manual method," though this book hasn't indicated how you can type up documents on the World-Band) and she notices he's not wearing his World-Band ring -- "probably when his fingers had enlarged." A metal ring isn't like clothing -- you can't just burst out of it like the Hulk through a shirt. There's a reason paramedics cut off rings when dealing with hand injuries, because finger swelling and metal rings don't make a pretty picture.
No, you don't actually GET a picture of that...
have a bunny instead
Poor Bramford, cut off from the constant direction of his inner voice. To Eden, it seemed like a fate worse than death. -- p. 85
You know, Eden, death is a pretty terrible thing. Yet you seem to find a lot of things worse than death -- not having a mate, having an all-Pearl child, not being able to get on this world's version of the Interent, etc. I don't think you GET just how shallow this all seems. Death is DEATH; I can't think of too many fates worse than that. You come across as naive at best and insensitive at worst by constantly throwing around "fate worse than death."
Daisy the flight attendant (am I the only one thinking of Princess Daisy from the Mario games now) starts treating Dr. Newman's leg wound. Eden gags, then starts pouting when her father tells her it's just blood, huffing about how she's "always a failure in Father's eyes." Stop freaking making everything about yourself, girl...
On the plus side, Eden DOES acknowledge here that she's betrayed everyone, so at least she has some modicum that she's flubbed big time. Too little to make me feel sympathetic toward her, though...
Daisy says there's no medicine aboard because they left in too much of a rush, and it's doubtful there'll be any medicine where they're going. Eden freaks out at the possibility that there won't be any oxy where they're going either, because heaven forbid our protagonist not get her drug fix. If Eden's whiny and bitchy now, just think of how she'll be while going through withdrawals... *shudder*
Eden's father suggests amputating his leg. Using a lot bigger words than necessary (not all scientists talk like Hollywood nerds, Foyt), he says it will improve his chances of not getting gangrene. Eden calls him insane, and we get a lovely exchange in response:
"Wait and see, Daught." (That nickname is getting really old...)
"There's nothing to see. There's never going to be anything to see ever again. If your head wasn't in the clouds you would see that." But you don't even see me. (Ugh... self-centered, anyone?)
The shaggy eyebrows arched. "Only forward momentum exists; the past is gone. The best course of action would be to consider this an unexpected adventure."
"I was hoping to make it to my eighteenth birthday."
Her father sighed, his disappointment clear. "I'll insist Bramford send you back when we land."
"I'm not leaving you alone with... that."
"Bramford is the same, essentially."
"If you believe that, you're crazier than I thought." -- p. 86
I've said it before, and I'll say it again -- I'd enjoy this book a lot more if Eden's father were the main character. Not saying the book would be GOOD -- there's still a lot of problems with it -- but at least it would be merely bad or even mediocre and not maddeningly painful to read. Dr. Newman is at least a reasonable character and even sympathetic character, whereas Eden is whiny, self-centered, and so screamingly racist she puts Trump to shame.
Daisy says there's no medicine aboard because they left in too much of a rush, and it's doubtful there'll be any medicine where they're going. Eden freaks out at the possibility that there won't be any oxy where they're going either, because heaven forbid our protagonist not get her drug fix. If Eden's whiny and bitchy now, just think of how she'll be while going through withdrawals... *shudder*
Eden's father suggests amputating his leg. Using a lot bigger words than necessary (not all scientists talk like Hollywood nerds, Foyt), he says it will improve his chances of not getting gangrene. Eden calls him insane, and we get a lovely exchange in response:
"Wait and see, Daught." (That nickname is getting really old...)
"There's nothing to see. There's never going to be anything to see ever again. If your head wasn't in the clouds you would see that." But you don't even see me. (Ugh... self-centered, anyone?)
The shaggy eyebrows arched. "Only forward momentum exists; the past is gone. The best course of action would be to consider this an unexpected adventure."
"I was hoping to make it to my eighteenth birthday."
Her father sighed, his disappointment clear. "I'll insist Bramford send you back when we land."
"I'm not leaving you alone with... that."
"Bramford is the same, essentially."
"If you believe that, you're crazier than I thought." -- p. 86
I've said it before, and I'll say it again -- I'd enjoy this book a lot more if Eden's father were the main character. Not saying the book would be GOOD -- there's still a lot of problems with it -- but at least it would be merely bad or even mediocre and not maddeningly painful to read. Dr. Newman is at least a reasonable character and even sympathetic character, whereas Eden is whiny, self-centered, and so screamingly racist she puts Trump to shame.
I normally don't get political in stuff I post online,
but let's face it, Trump jokes write themselves
"His appearance is undeniably altered," her father said. "And yet, it's safe to say his reasoning remains fully intact. In fact, the results are far superior to any projections. To adapt to such a degree and retain man's mental capacity -- why, it's a lucky break, worth any price."
"Even our lives, Father?" Even my life? -- p. 86
Eden goes on to say that her father's a cold-hearted man, and didn't even care that her mother died. We don't even get a flashback of that, though, just Eden saying her father acted cold-hearted the day she died and didn't even say goodbye to her. Show, don't tell, Foyt. Give us some evidence. And just because someone has a scientific mind doesn't mean they can't feel emotion.
Her father goes on to say the heat in the lab accelerated Bramford's transformation. I'm no geneticist, but I'm pretty sure this is NOT how genetic engineering works. Eden asks if he can reverse the process, and he says it might have been possible to reverse a minor change but that trying to return Bramford to normal could kill him. Again, pretty sure genetics don't work this way -- a quick Google search says that even minor changes in someone's DNA can kill them, and farting around with someone's genetic material probably isn't reversible.
Her father also says Bramford is highly unpredictable, which Eden takes to mean he'll become even more animal-like. She asks why they have to risk their lives for him, and he protests that he's responsible for Bramford. Good on you, pal. I like you a whole lot more than your daughter at the moment...
Eden points out that he threatened to kill Bramford in the lab, and he reveals that was a bluff. Then she suggests they turn Bramford in to the government to save their own necks. Um... earlier in the book you were going on about how the government doesn't care whether you live or die, girl. Why are you suddenly so eager to try to cut a deal with them? What's to stop them from taking Bramford and tossing your butt outside anyway?
And of course, Bramford overhears this discussion. Yeah, discussing your plans to betray the man who's saving your necks when he's RIGHT THERE is such a bright idea, girl...
Idjit
In a flash, the beast leapt beside her with a terrifying roar. Her eyes traveled from his strong thighs, thick as tree trunks, to his brilliant eyes. She felt trapped, as if caught in the path of an avalanche. Only, she wasn't sure she wanted to move out of the way. -- p. 88
I get the sneaking suspicion that Foyt's reading consists mostly of harlequin romance novels, because her attempts at writing it come off as a parody of the worst of the genre. (I don't read the things, though I've flipped through them from time to time and found some stunningly bad writing...) And I'm still sick to death of the "I hate him but he's hot" theme running through this novel. Can we find a different way to show sexual tension than this?
Eden orders Bramford to send them home, and he replies "so you can go back to your FFP friend?" Did everyone just forget that Jamal's dead? Eden insists she didn't know he was FFP, Bramford, however, puts two and two together and realizes Eden's the one who leaked info to Jamal. He accuses her of being naive, and we get this "brilliant" reply from Eden:
Eden looked him dead in the eye. "Someday, when you're locked up in a cage, Bramford, maybe you'll understand what it feels like to be an outcast." - p. 89
I'm just gonna use this GIF every time something
stupid about racism comes up...
Foyt, do you even THINK before you write crap like this? Black people have lived with being outcasts from society for centuries! And just because you've oh-so-magically flipped that around now doesn't mean that it instantly nullifies the past! Eden's comment comes across as incredibly ignorant, if not outright insulting.
And then, as if this comment wasn't bad enough, we get a scene that actually made me chuck the book across the room. Brace yourself, it's a whopper.
Bramford tells Eden "we always have a choice in life" and "if you weren't so self-involved you'd understand that" -- yay for seeing through the bullcrap, pal. Then he rips out her Life-Band earring.
Eden screamed as her hand flew to the spot. How dare he? She felt more violated than if she'd been raped. -- p. 90
...........
No.
Just... no.
No, Foyt, you do NOT get to trivialize rape like this. You've already made light of racism and suicide, which is inexcusable, but you don't get to do this either. How can you even THINK that a character having an earring ripped out -- which, granted, is still freaking painful -- is the equivalent of a rape? This isn't equal to rape, this is equal to someone having their iPhone stolen (because really, the jewelry connecting you to the Life-Band is pretty much this world's equivalent to a smartphone). It is in NO way comparable to rape.
Seriously, Foyt, do you have ANY idea just how horrific rape is for the victim? It's something with lasting and terrible consequences, physical and emotional and psychological. Eden having her Life-Band earring taken can be painful, sure, and she can even be angry about it. But to compare it to sexual assault is inexcusable and a disgrace.
Argh... every time I think I can't hate Eden OR this book any more, Foyt lowers the bar.
Eden tries to hit him, he catches her arm, they glare at each other like "impassioned tango dancers" (a turn of phrase that causes a turn of stomach after the mind-numbingly stupid rape reference earlier), Eden gets turned on by being close to Bramford (another turn of stomach, where's a bucket?), and Bramford finally lets go of her. Advice to writers -- never try to wedge anything romantic immediately after a rape reference. Especially when written as badly as that.
Bramford takes her father's Life-Band too, which he gives up willingly. He also offers a sedative, saying "I doubt it will kill you." Which is apparently his attempt at scientific humor. Um... ha? Most scientific humor I've heard is more along the lines of this -- http://www.sciencehumor.org/
Eden tells her dad she's "really sorry," but he just tells her "inconceivable." Wow, the opportunity to include this meme just writes itself.
Her father was all she had left in the world. Now, she had lost him, too. For Earth's sake, she just couldn't think about it. So she stuffed her despair onto a crowded shelf in her heart and slammed the door shut. -- p. 91
Wow, what an awkward metaphor. And sorry Eden, but I'm just not feeling any sympathy for you.
Foyt just keeps finding new and exciting ways to offend everybody in this book, doesn't she? Seriously, it's almost like she's trying to piss people off. I would feel marginally better about this whole thing if it turned out she was just some kind of troll, but the fact that she seems to feel quite sincerely about everything she's written is worse and a whole lot scarier...
