Chapter 30 -- This is Your Romance on Drugs, Any Questions?

Next!

Eden watches Bramford cook his drugs... I mean boil up the herbal concoction "with dreamy eyes."  Maybe hoping he'll share his fix with her, I dunno, though I notice that Foyt has completely and conveniently dropped the fact that Eden is hooked on oxy.  Drug addiction is a serious business, and you can't just stop using a powerful drug you've gotten yourself dependent on without serious side effects that last a LOT longer than a few days.  Even cigarette addiction can have some nasty withdrawal symptoms.  The fact that Eden is showing no ill effects now, mere days after stopping oxy, is pretty unrealistic.

Anyhow, we get a paragraph describing the jungle and the wood smoke, then we get Eden thinking about life in the Combs.

Her old life in the tunnels with the ever-present voice in her head and the dark coating that fit like a second skin seemed nothing more than a bad dream.  Had it really happened?  Only the present felt real, and comforting.  Somehow, Eden believed she and Bramford always had been together in the jungle -- how had he put it -- as partners. -- p 210

Your life in the tunnels was only a few days ago, Eden.  And not too long ago you were freaking out about the jungle, hating Bramford, and wanting to get a World-Band and go home.  Ugh... I swear Eden has multiple personalities, she's not written consistently at ALL.

Bramford comes over to retie the ropes around her broken ribs, something he has to do one-handed since his other hand is wounded and quite possibly infected if the "angry red streaks... like just accusations of her stupidity" are anything to go by.  Does Eden help him at all?  Nope, she just is "happy for an excuse to lean against his warm, bare chest."  Seriously?

Ironhide's had enough of your slag...

"How's the pain?" he said.

She put on a brave face.  "It only hurts when I breathe."

"Take shallow breaths."

"I am."  Except when you look right through me. -- p. 211

"It Only Hurts When I'm Breathing" by Shania Twain

"Look Right Through Me" by Revis

When your romantic dialogue can double as sappy love-song lyrics, maybe you need to rewrite it to be a bit more realistic.

Bramford purrs as he finishes tying the knots -- again, jaguars don't purr -- and Eden wonders why he can't always be like this.  Maybe if you stopped trying to deliberately tick him off, he'd be like this more often.  But then, he's at his most likable when he's ticked off at you, so please, by all means, keep antagonizing him...

Finally Bramford says the bejuco de oro is calling him and asks if Eden's ready.  She protests "do I look like I'm ready?" and he assures her she is even if she doesn't know it.  He also warns her that the herbs will "speak" through him and test both him and her.  Um... plants aren't sentient, and that's the hallucinogens making you hear things, not some jungle spirits.  When did this book decide to veer into straight-up fantasy?  (Aside, of course, from the fantasies of reversed racism and geneticists being able to turn humans into cat-people...)

Eden, who isn't taking the drug, protests that she's going to be tested.

"But I"m not part of this."

"You're here for a reason.  Try to understand."

"I'm only here because you kidnapped me."  It was a fact, though for once Eden presented it without malice.

"But you came along, didn't you?" he said, with equal matter-of-factness.

"I had no choice," she said softly.

He looked off into the distance as he spoke.  "In everything we do there's always a choice.  We can choose to see ourselves as victims of circumstance.  But when we act beyond our personal needs we become part of something greater.  The choice is ours." -- p. 211-212

Not a bad message... it's too bad it's buried deep within THIS book, far deeper than I'm sure most wise and sane people are willing to dig.  (Yes, I'm hinting that I might be neither wise nor sane...)  And it's too bad it's being used by a jaguar-furry to justify getting high in the middle of a dangerous jungle and leaving a girl with no survival skills or instinct whatsoever alone and defenseless.  So long, likable Bramford, you were nice while you lasted...

Eden thinks that Bramford's talk is "riddles... as mystifying as love."  Because of course love can't exist in a dystopia, right?

Bramford shook his head, as if to say, I tried.  -- p. 212

One last jab from likable Bramford before he goes on his "trip"... and then he takes the gourd of drug-stew and drinks up.  And then starts retching, shaking, and staggering like a drunk.  I've looked up this stuff (apparently it's also called boa vine, ayahuasca, or its Latin name of banisteriopsis caapi, which I'm surprised Eden hasn't used yet), and none of these side effects are listed.  My guess is Foyt just went for the most commonly-known effects of ingesting any potentially toxic substance and to heck with actually doing in-depth research...

Eden keeps shouting at Bramford, but he doesn't respond.  Well, he DID warn her that he'd be leaving her alone, so I'm not sure why she's surprised.  She takes a moment to gawk at "his magnificent, inert form" because of COURSE we have to ogle the jaguar-man while he's unconscious, then settles in to guard him and prays she'll make it to dawn.  Hey jungle, now would be a really good time for another anaconda or a REAL jaguar to come in...

After who knows how long of Eden watching Bramford twitch and moan, he starts making sounds that Eden thinks might be "shamanistic language."  Or maybe they're just babbling from a brain that isn't functioning well enough to form proper speech?  For being skeptical of gods and shamanistic stuff, you're sure quick to believe in this stuff, girl...

Eden also wonders if Bramford will lose his fight against the great snake spirit (again called by the Aztec name because of COURSE everyone in Central and South American is/was Aztec, right?) and worries he'll be ressurected as an "ugly piggy tapir."  Even now Eden is obsessed with beauty and ugliness.  *sigh*  Our heroine, ladies and gentlemen...

Besides, tapirs can be cute...

Eden decides to call Bramford by his first name, Ronson, but gets no response either.  (Ronson?  Seriously?  At least it's not Peach or Ashina...)  So she decides to hold his hand until this whole thing blows over.  And of course she decides her hand belongs in his, "even if his was paw-like."  Why are you suddenly deciding that you're this guy's soulmate when you've spent much of the book hating his guts?

And of course, because TWU WUV, Bramford squeezes her hand back.  And finally starts talking lucidly.

"Please, don't go," he said, though Eden hardly recognized the angst-ridden voice.

"What?" she said.

"Promise me you won't leave."

Bewildered, Eden replied.  "Of course not."

"Say it."

"Okay.  I promise I won't leave."

"But you did," Bramford said, his face lined with pain.  "You deceived me." -- p. 214

Eden feels guilty for selling Bramford out to Jamal (took you long enough, girl) and says she only wanted to survive.  Bramford said he would have protected her, and she counters that he would have cut her and her father loose the moment Dr. Newman finished his work.  Bramford protests he would have given his life for her father, even going so far as to say "you don't understand how important he is to me," and wow, is Foyt trying to throw some Ho Yay at her readers or what?  It's like she's TRYING to bait readers into a shipping war, if this book had any legitimate fans.

"...you're still afraid... tell me why."

"Look at me.  I'm..."  Did she have to say it?  "I'm not strong like you."

"But I'm teaching you and you've made good progress."

"You can't understand what it's like for me or him."

"I realize that now," he said, regretfully.  "I've suffered, but I'm better for it.  I'm sorry I hurt you.  Both of you." -- p. 215

When has Bramford ever hurt Dr. Newman or Eden?  It seemed like he was a pretty freakin' good boss to both of them, even granting them privileges other white people didn't get and protecting them from harassment.  Bramford has nothing to be sorry about here -- he's just being forced to say it because Foyt wants to beat him into being the perfect love interest for her Mary Sue.

Bramford further reveals that he brought the two of them here because the FFP would have taken Dr. Newman, and he'd laid out a precise plan to save both of them -- a plan Eden screwed up by betraying them to Jamal.  Instead of being sorry, Eden just expresses wonder that Bramford actually has a heart.

"You did it all for us?"

"For who else?" Bramford said.

"Not for power?"

"What is power to me without love?"

Love?  The word exploded inside of Eden.  Was it possible that Bramford loved her? -- p. 216

*sigh*  Alas, poor decent character that was Bramford... I knew him.

The fact that I have the opportunity to use this meme in a 

Revealing Eden post and not for Hamlet's Father

is just criminal...

Bramford further reveals that he's loved Eden all this time and has been trying to protect her all along, even during the Moon Dance.  And here I thought it was just proof that Bramford was a decent human being.  Of COURSE there's no way a male protagonist can ever just be nice to a female protagonist -- it has to be LOVE, of course.  Bleh...

We get a random Emily Dickinson poem -- "Wild Nights, Wild Nights" -- and Eden falls into his arms with an overdramatic "Oh, Ronson!"  And then end chapter.

Welp... I can only hope one of two things at this point:

1. That the romance finally being set in stone means the constant bickering and insulting and "I hate you but you're hot" stuff will come to an end, or
2. That they both wake up in the morning and the whole love spiel was just the drugs talking and Bramford's instead going to just leave her in the woods because why not.

Knowing my luck, however, neither of the above is going to happen.  *sigh*  I need drugs -- I mean chocolate.

No birds were harmed in the making of

these images (seriously, look it up, it's from

a movie and it's CGI'd in...)

Chapter 29 -- What's New, Pussycat?

On we go...

Eden's still laying on the banana leaf, and she's guessed by the passing of the shadows that Bramford's been gone for about two hours.  I'm not certain that a girl who's lived in an underground city and relied on technology all her life is going to know how to tell time from watching shadows, but that could just be me sucking at telling time without a clock nearby talking...

Panic clawed at her, as she wondered if she'd misunderstood him.  A day, maybe two.  She only had assumed he would stay with her.  But what if he planned on leaving her alone?  Why couldn't the beast ever say what he meant? -- p. 202

Nice to know that Bramford's automatically a beast whenever he does something you don't like.  *eyeroll*

There's a splash in the river, and Eden gets to watch as a school of piranha (yes, Latin name, were you expecting anything different?) catch and eat a "pretty, little rainbow fish."  She proceeds to scour the forest around her for potential threats.  I guess we're supposed to take this little scene as a metaphor for how our "pretty little" protagonist is alone and threatened by a dangerous wild world, which is pretty stupid to me.  "White woman in danger" is such an overplayed trope any more that it gets eye-rolling when we're expected to take it dead seriously.

Eden starts to freak out as she hears whistling and laughing in the forest... but it turns out to be something called a "laughing falcon" (yup, Latin name too, isn't our protagonist so smart?).  And of course Eden assumes that everything in the jungle is making fun of her.  Because it's all about her, don't you know...

Eden also thinks "please, protect me, Mother Earth."  Which seems a little weird since didn't this book establish that Eden considered religion to be dead and silly superstition?  Why would she suddenly be praying to "Mother Earth?"  Worship of the Earth has not been established up to this point, and I don't think using "Earth" as a curse word the whole book counts.

This Earth goddess is not amused by this book

Something approaches from upstream, and she panics... but it's just Bramford coming back.  And we get this winning bit:

Relief, and then anger washed over her.  He hadn't even bothered to call out to her.

Her shrill voice lit into him, as he approached.  "For Earth's sake, Bramford.  Why didn't you tell me you'd be back? Or did you enjoy scaring me?" -- p. 203

*sigh*  I'm getting sick and tired of Eden screaming at Bramford one moment and lusting after him the next.  Please tell me I'm not the only one who hates the Belligerent Sexual Tension trope, or its nasty implications.  Because fighting or insulting one another constantly, even if it's followed up by romantic or sexy moments, can't be a good basis for a healthy relationship...

Bramford doesn't respond to the yelling, just shows what he's carrying -- leaves, nuts, berries, and a length of vine.  He stares at Eden with "bruising eyes," and geez do I hate this book's attempts at description and metaphor.

Never gets old

Eden keeps ranting at him, though you think she would have learned by now not to tick off the jaguar man.  But self-preservation was never one of Eden's strong points, was it?

"I don't know why you bothered to save me in the first place, if you were going to leave me here to die.  There are things everywhere; things that want to kill me.  Just now, I heard someone."  She wagged a finger.  "Right there-"

Without warning Bramford pounced on her, scattering his pickings into the air.  Eden flattened her back against the leaf and screamed. -- p. 203-204

Yay, protagonist eaten by a jaguar furry, we can all go home now!

Nah, of course we can't be so lucky... we just get faux-sexy description out of it.

He knelt over her, his weight supported on one arm.  His loincloth brushed against the top of her thighs.  His irresistible scent shot like a hot arrow through her galloping heart.

Eden yearned to caress his savage face but feared he might hit her.  From a lifetime of habit she knew what to do.

"I'm sorry, sir," she began, speaking in the flat, unthreatening tones of a Pearl.  But she had to reach for the right note, as if it was packed away on a shelf.  She hung her head on her chest as she continued.  "I didn't mean to upset you.  I only wanted--"  -- p. 204

I dunno what's worse -- the weirdly written "sexy" bit there or the uncomfortable reverse racism bit immediately following it.  I get what Foyt's trying to do here -- put a white girl in the place that a lot of black people have found themselves in over the generations, having to be subservient to a white person for fear of repercussions -- but it just feels uncomfortable.  It reads less like a case of "see how it feels, white people?" and more like she's co-opting decades of pain and humiliation that people of color have experienced, just to get a little drama for her precious protagonist.

And any shred of good a scene like that could have done is destroyed when Bramford apologizes to EDEN for what happened.

"I left you here without explanation.  You have a right to complain.  Go ahead.  Attack, don't whimper." -- p. 204

Ugh... making your otherwise-likable black love interest suddenly subservient to the white girl is icky and uncomfortable, Foyt.  How did you go so, so wrong with this supposedly anti-racist book?

Bramford tells her she could learn a lesson in protecting herself, and she thinks "the bastard hadn't changed one bit" even though he's right.  She demands to know why he left her defenseless and he points out that nothing attacked her while he was gone.  And we get a rather uncomfortable explanation as to why.

"Why can't you understand?" he said.  "The jungle isn't chaotic.  Order exists here.  You just don't recognize it.  Don't you realize that I marked you with my scent when we laid together so that nothing would attack you?" -- p. 205

Wat.

Just... wat.

Okay, I get it.  This is totally a cat thing.  Cats do have scent glands on their chins that they use to mark their territory, including their humans.  So when you think your cat is being loving and friendly by rubbing his chin against you, more often than not he's just making it clear to other animals that "this human is MINE, back off."  And Bramford IS part cat at the moment, so...

I'm sorry, but even if Bramford is a cat-man now, this is still icky.  Eden has remarked before that Bramford likes to mark his territory "like a beast," and this is just giving her more ammo for the whole beast thing.  I don't care that we're supposed to see it as romantic and heroic on Bramford's part, that he did this to protect Eden.  It's still squicky and weird and... argh.  I need a shower.

Eden feels betrayed that their earlier snuggling was just Bramford marking her (and for once I don't blame her), and she decides Bramford'll never see "the Real Eden" again.  We'll see how long THAT lasts, her feelings toward Bramford have more flip-flops than a California beach.

She watches "the scribbled line of shade slide over the opposite embankment" (seriously Foyt, you're trying WAY too hard with your description here) and dreads the coming night.  And she wishes she were anywhere else in the world than stuck here with Bramford.  Don't whine, girl, it was your choice to go running into the jungle with no protection.

Bramford pulls up a lily pad, and Eden marvels how the white flowers are "huddled like Baby Pearls"... and then Bramford yanks the flower out of the lily pad and throws it away, and just uses the lily pad as a plate to put the nuts and berries on.  And of course Eden has to take offense to THIS too.

He probably wished he could be just as easily rid of her. -- p. 205

Don't we all, girl... don't we all.

What we all probably wish we could do to Eden

right about now...

Eden kicks the pad away, telling Bramford not to tell her what to do.  He grabs her by the leg, sending "hot, burning signals" up her legs and into her brain.  Your nerves are constantly sending signals from your legs to your brain, this is nothing special, girl.  And she thinks about how much she hates him, which is nothing new.

"Good, you're angry," Bramford said.  "You can't survive in the jungle without anger."  -- p. 206

Stop reminding me of things I'd rather be

reading/watching than this crappy book...

"I don't want to be in the jungle," Eden hissed.

"You want to survive, don't you?"

"That's a stupid question."

"Is it?  As far as I can tell you invite danger.  You don't eat, you walk alone in the jungle."  He narrowed his gaze at her and spoke pointedly.  "And you take up with dangerous men." -- p. 206

Nice to see that Bramford can still put Eden in her place.  Too bad this trait will probably be neutered out of him when these two finally stop bickering and settle down into forced romance.

Eden slaps him, and he warns her not to push him.  At least we don't get a "you won't like me when I'm angry" quote...  Eden protests that she didn't know anything about Jamal's plan to betray them, but then remembers his "wicked grin" and realizes she should have seen it all along.  But she's still going to be mad at Bramford because wah, someone's being mean to me, they have to suffer for it.

"When you get to where I am you'll understand a lot more than you could ever imagine."

"Why on Holy Earth would I want to be like you?"

Bramford's face went bank.  Eden saw that she had hurt him.  Well, he deserved it.  Still, she felt a lump in her chest. -- p. 206-207

Our heroine, ladies and gentlemen.

Bramford starts a fire, and Eden wonders why he's being so difficult.  Excuse me, he's not the one acting like a spoiled brat even after having someone save his life.  Her hating him doesn't stop her from ogling him as he's tending the fire, though, because the only thing more important than looking beautiful is hot guys, don't you know.  Our upstanding role model for girls, ladies and gentlemen...

Bramford tells Eden she'll have to tend to the fire while he's gone... because he's going to take some of that vine-drug and go on a "trip."

"Only the shaman drank the bejuco de oro in special ceremonies long ago.  It allowed him to see far ahead so he could protect the people.  They called him El Tigre because his spirit flew with the speed of a jaguar."  Already, Bramford sounded far away as he added, "It's the next step for me." -- p. 208

Um... these people already see him as a god.  Why does he need to get wasted and turn into a shaman as well?  This sudden turn to mysticism and shamanism doesn't seem in character for him, even with his sudden transformation into a furry.  Or is Foyt going to take this opportunity to toss in an anti-drug message as well?  Please no...

He tells her "in a cowboy drawl" that she'll have to hold the fort, and assures her he'll be back by dawn.  He also insists that he'll die if he doesn't do this, which is a bunch of bunk in my book, but it's pretty clear by this point that Foyt's making all this up as she goes along, so I guess I shouldn't be surprised by anything at this point.

"But, don't you see?  What if it's dangerous?"

Bramford looked her dead in the eye.  "Oh, it'll be dangerous, Eden.  You can count on that." -- p. 209

And on that note, we end the chapter -- with Bramford about to get spaced out on drugs deep in the jungle and leaving a wussy city-girl who's almost gotten herself killed umpteen times by now to protect him.  *sigh*  Well, likable and intelligent Bramford was nice while he lasted, I guess...