Chapter Two: Our Main Character Is a Racist, Entitled, Self-Centered, Whiny Brat

So as I was reading the first chapter of this book, I noticed that most of the quotes people like to throw out to show how terrible the book is come from that first chapter.  Does this mean most people who pick this travesty up never make it past the first chapter?  Wonder if that makes me very brave for continuing on, or very foolish.

You're welcome, fangirls.  You know

who you are...

When we last left our "heroine," she was about to be trampled and/or have the snot beat out of her by a roomful of Coals.  Dad calls out for her, calling her "daught" -- short for daughter apparently.  I guess like "bro" and "sis" being short for brother and sister, but it's weird under normal circumstances for a parent to refer to their child by a slang term and just bizarre in these circumstances.  Doesn't a life-or-death situation at least call for a first name?

Eden books it, and the Coals chase her, their angry voices "like laser blasts."  If this book actually has laser weapons it may have just slightly redeemed itself, but I'm not counting on it.

Then the angry mob comes to a halt, and Eden almost runs into the owner of the company she and her father work for -- Ronson Bramford.  Primus dammit, is there a black person in this book that has a halfway normal name?

Speechless, she stared up into his dark, gleaming eyes.  A glint of light shone down on his black, shaved head, adding to his magnetic effect.  (Kenya's note: Foyt still thinks all black people are jet-black apparently... you do realize that black people come in many different skin tones, just like white people, right?)  Then he jerked away, as if Eden really were poison, and turned his steely gaze on the crowd.

"Back to work," Bramford said in a calm but commanding voice.  Relieved, she began to leave when he added, "Not you, Eden."

She wasn't sure which was worse: being murdered by a mob or dealing with the arrogant bastard.  As usual, Bramford stared at a point on her shoulder as he addressed her, which made her feel small and dirty. -- p. 11-12

"Crikey, mates, we got ourselves a live one here!  Looks like a Cliche Love Interest!  It's a beauty, ain't it?  You can tell these things by their detailed physical descriptions an' how the female protagonist instantly hates his guts, though ya know she'll be all over 'im by the end of the novel!  Careful, these things are liable to take a big bite outta your heart if ya take yer eyes offa 'em for a second!  Let's see what happens when I poke 'im in the steely eye!"

Too soon?

Seriously, Mr. Bramford here might as well walk in with the words Designated Love Interest stamped on his forehead.  Gets the most time devoted to his physical description of any character so far?  Check.  Wealthy and powerful?  Check.  Completely different social/economic class from the female protagonist?  Check.  Female protagonist hates him right off the bat in order to set up a contrived "forced to spend time together so they can annoy each other until they give in to their hormones and have TWUE WUV FOREVER?"  Check, and I absolutely hate that cliche that countless romantic comedies have beaten to death, resurrected as a zombie, and inflicted time and again upon the hapless masses.  Shoot it in the head already.

Also Bramford's single, despite having an insanely high mate-rate of 98 percent and being 22 (males have to find a mate by age 24 or die), so obviously he's saving himself for a kind and sensitive girl like Eden is supposed to be.  *retches*

Oh, and for the next couple of pages we constantly get told how "magnificent" and "chiseled" Bramford is despite Eden hating him.  Because Foyt fails at subtlety as well...

In the next paragraph, apparently Bramford's skin is the color of storm clouds.  Last time I checked, that wasn't a healthy skin color, unless you happen to be an elephant.

Bramford asks what the problem is.  Ashina accuses Eden of attacking her, and Eden thinks that "a Coal's word outweighed a Pearl's.  Always."  Could we get this shown as an example before you start stating facts, Ms. Foyt?  Bramford asks why Eden would attack her when her father's work is at stake, and Ashina's only answer is that she can't control herself and "you know how they are."  She also states that she caught Eden in a lie, and with the Big Night, whatever it is, coming up, there's no room for mistakes.  Which is a good point, even if Eden thinks being right is more important than her father's experiment.

Eden's father shows up at that moment, and Eden takes a moment to mentally gripe about his glasses -- and of course, it's all about her.

Eden suspected that he wore his antiquated glasses just to irritate her, despite her repeated insistence that he get the simple fix.  It was just another way of standing out, another way of reminding them that he and his daughter existed.  -- p. 13

You know, Eden, people are not obligated to do whatever you tell them to do.  And your father could have other reasons for wearing glasses that have nothing to do with picking on you.  He could simply prefer the look and feel of glasses over this world's equivalent of LASIK.  Or it could be the "simple fix" is too expensive and he opted out of it.  Or he tried to get the "simple fix" and was turned down for being incompatible with the procedure or simply for being a Pearl -- oh wait, I forget, the racism against Pearls only exists when it's convenient for the plot, never mind.  My point is that there could be a dozen reasons for him preferring glasses over the "simple fix," not just to irritate you, girl.

Bramford sends her father off, saying the situation is under control, then calls for his bodyguard -- Shen, an Amber, which this book helpfully informs us is the racist term for people of Asian descent.  *sigh*  Seriously, if you want us to take these "racist" terms seriously, why are you using gemstone names for your "lesser" races?  You do realize that even in primitive societies, gemstones are prized, and there are plenty of uses gemstones can have in even a dystopian society (for example, diamonds make great cutting edges, especially for surgical instruments)?

Also we're informed that people of Hispanic or Latino descent are called Tiger's eyes, and that they rank above Ambers in the "race wars," while Ambers rank above Pearls.  Not helping your "anti-racism" cause with references to "race wars," Foyt...  And of course Eden trusts Shen because he's an Amber and not a Coal or Tiger's Eye -- which just makes her come across as even more racist.  Ugh.

Oh, and Shen has dragon tattoos up and down his arms.  Of course he does.  For being a book meant to discredit racism, Foyt sure loves her racial stereotypes.  Shen also has a "third eye," a white dot in the center of his forehead that means he has a mate.  Whatever happened to a wedding band?

Bramford has Shen call for his head of security, Jamal.  Finally, we get a black person with a name that doesn't sound utterly ridiculous!  Sure, it's a pretty stereotypical African-American name, but it's far closer to reality than Peach or Ashina.  And it's a name that doesn't make me want to go bang my head against the nearest vertical surface...

Eden gets all fluttery when Jamal shows up, thinking of him as her "Dark Prince."  Finally, a Coal she doesn't automatically hate on sight...  We're helpfully informed that Jamal is "colorblind," but not in the traditional sense of the word.  Apparently Foyt likes to use the term "colorblind" not to mean someone who can't tell certain colors apart, but someone who isn't racist or ignores what race people happen to be.  Other people have taken issue with the term "colorblind," but unless it crops up again in this book I'm going to let it slide, because there's just too much else to cover here.

Jamal has a warrior tattoo on one side of his face, which isn't explained.  Is he a soldier, is it the mark of their police force, what?  Also, Jamal is ebony-skinned -- because apparently brown African-Americans no longer exist in this world.  If I drank and made a drinking game of how many times black people were literally referred to as black-skinned, I'm sure I'd be passed out within a few chapters...

I'll settle for the "drunken Decepticon" GIF instead

We see holograms of the security footage showing the incident -- apparently the Life-Bands can access this footage.  Then Bramford shuts it off and asks why Jamal wasn't on top of the incident.  A reasonable enough request -- if Jamal's head of security, this type of situation's his responsibility -- but Eden acts like Bramford questioning Jamal about it is some kind of conspiracy against her and Bramford's a "cold bastard" for resisting Jamal's attempts to charm his way out of the situation.  It's called professionalism, you little brat.  Bramford's thinking about the company, and he's not evil for not automatically coddling your precious feelings.

We also get an aside about how Bramford took over the company after his father died during a "terrorist Pearl attack."  So... wouldn't the fact that he'll actually hire Pearls to work at his labs be a good thing?  It means that despite any personal feelings, he's willing to put the good of the company and their experiments ahead of his own anger towards Pearls, if he harbors any.  This could have been developed into an interesting plot point.  But Eden apparently doesn't care about it -- all she cares about is that she can't find any information on Bramford when she goes snooping, and that his mystery makes him powerful.  *sigh*  Another sign of the Designated Love Interest -- they're oh so mysterious.

Bramford's Life-Band is a gold ring with an onyx stone, which Eden finds pretentious.  Oh, shut up, brat.  Now you're just looking for excuses to hate your employer.

When [the Life-Band] stopped flashing, he spoke curtly to Ashina.  "I won't allow internal discord."

Had justice prevailed for once?  Eden could hardly believe it.

Then Bramford added, "Since you instigated the incident, Eden, you must suffer the consequences."

What did she expect?  Bramford hated her.  If he fired her and she couldn't produce, her Basic Resources would end.  Which meant death.  -- p. 16

Ugh... just because your boss decides to discipline you doesn't mean he hates you!  Besides, if anyone watched the security tapes, they'd pretty much see that Eden called Ashina by a racial slur, and in most workplaces that would make you the instigator.  I don't know many workplaces that would let someone get away with that.

What we see here is a classic instance of Protagonist-Centered Morality, and it's a sure sign of the main character being a Mary Sue.  When people are judged as good or evil based solely on how they treat or what they think of the main character, then Mary Sue-ism is imminent.  We already see that anyone whom Eden perceives to be on her side -- her father, Jamal, Peach, maybe Shen -- is portrayed in the best light, while anyone she sees as an enemy -- Ashina, Bramford, every other Coal -- is show to be completely unreasonable and evil.  Christopher Paolini's Inheritance Cycle fell into this trap very early on, and it's just tiresome to see here.

Eden tries to get Jamal on her side, and he admits that someone could have sabotaged things so Eden's report never got through.  Ashina (helpfully referred to in the text as a "nosey bitch" because Eden can't let us forget that she's EVIL) demands to know why Jamal would say that, and Eden panics because apparently she's trying to seduce Jamal and "Coals often killed Pearls who seduced their kind."  Okay, I'm gonna guess Jamal's either going to die or disappear soon, because despite this Bramford still has Designated Love Interest written all over him...

Jamal and Bramford discuss the possibility of someone hacking their security, and the FFP is brought up -- the Federation of Free People, a militant group of Coals out to rid the planet of Pearls.  Obviously Foyt is trying to draw parallels to the KKK, which feels tasteless.

Ashina points out that none of this changes the fact that the fight was Eden's fault, and Bramford puts Eden on probation until further notice.  And of course, this is terrible and horrible and Bramford's doing it just to be mean, right?  Never mind that he's her employer and he has a right to discipline employees who break the rules or cause problems in the workplace -- no, it's obviously because he hates her.

And then we get this lovely gem.

The injustice of it burned in her gut.  Better to punish the Pearl than to upset the Coals.  If only Bramford knew what it was like to be an outcast. -- p. 17

...

...........

Yes, the irony that I'm using this GIF in a "Revealing Eden"

spork does not escape me...

Seriously, girl?  SERIOUSLY?  You don't think a black person knows what it's like to be an outcast?  African-Americans (and really, almost anyone of African descent, even those whose ancestors never left Africa) have spent CENTURIES being outcasts in a world where people of European descent exploited them and discriminated against them!  Assuming this book takes place in our future instead of an alternate universe (though there's been no hint of that so far), Bramford and every other Coal knows that their people were once discriminated against and treated as intruders and lesser beings all over the world.  And just because times have changed doesn't mean that the history is no longer there. 

Stop making everything about you, you little twat, and grow up and take some responsibility for your actions.  You may be seventeen in this book but you act like you're two.  Stop being an entitled princess and start acting like an actual protagonist.

...why am I talking to a fictional character?

Eden gets sent home until further notice, and Jamal calls her his Little Bunny and tells her he'll make it up to her after work.  End of chapter, and at least this one was a bit shorter...

I'm still failing to see how Bramford's a heartless monster in this chapter.  So far he seems professional, level-headed, and is acting in the best interests of the company.  The only sign we have that he's a horrible monster is that he disciplined an employee for calling another employee by a racial slur, and if that's horrible, every decent boss ever must be a complete monster.

*sigh*  It's not a good sign when a book makes you want to slap the main character...