Tuesday, December 12, 2017

Revealing Eden Wrap-Up -- Victoria Foyt Attempts Damage Control

WARNING:  Lots of links in this post.  It's recommended that you use the "open in new tab" or "open in new window" options.

Also, epically long post here... brace yourselves.

...

So... it's been over two years, but we've managed to slog our way through Revealing Eden, the first book in the Save the Pearls duology.  And for those of you who are wondering -- I have no plans at this time to spork the second book, Adapting Eden.  It's possible I'll buckle down and read it for this blog in the future, but for now my brain needs some time to heal from the damage inflicted by the first book.

You can only do this so many times before
you actually start to hurt yourself

For now, let's have a look at the author behind this hot mess of a book, author/screenwriter/actress Victoria Foyt. 


Yes, you read that right -- Victoria Foyt is an actress and screenwriter, and even has her own IMDb page (though that's not saying much, since anyone with two seconds of screen time in a film can get an IMDb page).  She's had roles in Venice/Venice, Babyfever, Last Summer at the Hamptons, Deja Vu, Random Acts, and Going Shopping, and wrote or co-wrote all those films except Random Acts.  She also co-wrote Festival in Cannes and two short films, The Sweet Spot and It Don't Come Easy, and has one previous novel under her belt, The Virtual Life of Lexie Diamond, which actually has decent reviews on both Amazon and Goodreads, as well as from some legitimate book critics.

No, I hadn't heard of any of the above works before starting this blog, but my point is that Foyt actually managed to do some decent, non-controversial work before penning Revealing Eden.  Sure, it might have been forgettable work, but she at least seemed to be doing pretty okay for herself.  It's a shame she had to blow it all on a travesty like Eden.  I suppose one has to wonder whether it's better to be decent but forgotten, or legendary but terrible...

At any rate, much as Orson Scott Card rose to the plate to vehemently defend his homophobic rewrite of Hamlet, Foyt has similarly gone to bat for Revealing Eden, defending it from critics and insisting that she is not racist and, therefore, her precious book can't be racist in any way.  

From her website (which, notably, hasn't been updated since 2012):

I never felt beautiful as a young girl; I felt smart.  Mostly, I lived in my head, observing life from the inside out.  Once, in fifth grade, a boy shocked me into seeing how different I appeared.  I stood at the front of the school waiting for my mother when he leaned out the window of a departing bus and hurled an offensive epithet at me loud enough for most of the student body to hear.  His racist statement pointed out how different I was from the majority of white girls with straight blond hair and thin hips.  I'm half-Italian with wild curly hair, a curvy figure, big eyes and big lips, and I guess that frightened him.  I never have understood why appearance often matters more than character or intelligence, or why our differences inspire fear.  In Save the Pearls Part One REVEALING EDEN, I wanted to create a world where environmental chaos turns today's prevailing beauty standards upside down.  Eden is forced to discover her inner beauty, which finally opens her heart to true love.

Oh geez, so Eden Newman is an Author Avatar.  Yes, authors will put a bit of themselves in every one of their characters, but the fact that Eden is closely modeled after Foyt doesn't bode well.  Except for her physical appearance, it seems... but I do find it odd -- and telling -- that Foyt insists that physical appearance doesn't matter, yet she made Eden one of these "white girls with straight blond hair and thin hips."  Hmmmm...

Also, a grade-school bully calling you the n-word (or whatever word he chose, I don't know what he said) doesn't suddenly make you an expert on racism and its effects on people.  Maybe you would have benefited from actually talking to people of color or other minorities and researched racism yourself before trying to write about it, Foyt.  Just my thoughts.

Foyt also had a blog in the Huffington Post at one point, though less than a dozen entries seem to exist at the moment.  Three of the posts in particular seem to be directly about Revealing Eden and its resulting controversies, and while I won't quote them verbatim here, I'll include some of the juciest bits below.


I was wondering if there would be a backlash to the twist on racial issues I present in my new Young Adult novel, Save The Pearls, Part One, Revealing Eden.

This lack of objection does not come in a vacuum, either.  Literally, dozens of bloggers, mostly in the YA and romance book community, have reviewed the book... Before you assume that this post is merely a means to flaunt those rave reviews, pay attention to what exactly this lack of racial commentary might mean.

There are a few links to positive reviews that I omitted -- you can find them in the blog post, though a couple of them have since been taken down.  But Foyt seems to be operating by the logic of "no one's complained yet, so obviously there's no problem!"  Barring the fact that the book had only been out a few months at the time of this blog post (and coming from an indie publisher, it would take some time before the Internet at large got wind of it and began mocking it en masse), just because no one complains about a problem doesn't mean there's not a problem.  Nobody started complaining about Harvey Weinstein being a scumbag until recently; that doesn't mean he wasn't intimidating and assaulting women until recently, it only means that no one had the courage to complain.  The problem is still there even if no one is talking about it.

Also Foyt's addiction to commas seems to carry over from her fiction to her blog writing.  Seriously, she uses way too many commas.

So what does the lack of any racial outrage or puzzlement or fervor amidst the tremendous rain of positive reviews possibly say?

Three reviews does not "a tremendous rain" make.  And I'd say it possibly says that no one's going to care about an indie-published book by a marginally-successful screenwriter.  At least, they won't care until the Internet finds it and discovers just how rotten it is...

Conceivably, if the book had not reached the African-American community of readers, if such a category still exists, perhaps there might be some backlash.  The first young African-American reader who responded to me loved the book.  But then, she's the kind of free spirit who would eschew limiting herself to a single category.

....

IF SUCH A CATEGORY STILL EXISTS

WHAT

THE

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF-


Sorry, I've read this statement elsewhere and it still cheeses me off.  Yes, I get that Foyt might be trying to say that there shouldn't be racial boundaries in the reading world, but... in this day and age there are STILL those boundaries.  There are still categories for African-American fiction and Asian-American fiction and Hispanic fiction, and I have a feeling those categories are going to be around for a long time.  

Also, as badly worded as this statement is, it could easily be interpreted to mean "I don't think African-American people read books."  And yes, a lot of people have interpreted it to mean just that.  Foyt herself hasn't clarified, so I can't say for sure if she honestly believes that black people are too busy joining gangs and writing rap songs and making goofy Vine videos (though I guess they'd be YouTube videos now that Vine is dead) to actually sit down and read a book, or if she's just bad at writing.  There's evidence to back up both claims.

Or perhaps -- and this is what I hope -- the YA generation sees race in a way that is unique to them, unique in our history.  After all, they have arrived on the scene decades past the integration of schools and Jim Crow, even well past the days of The Cosby Show.

Soap-mouth-washing words that were forbidden in my youth now populate rap songs so often I wonder if, happily, they have lost their vile connotations.

Racism still exists today, Foyt, no matter how you might hope otherwise.  Also, those words have not yet lost their "vile connotations" -- just look at how quickly much of the Internet turned against PewDiePie after he used the n-word in one of his gaming streams.  They crop up in rap songs because it's widely accepted that black people can use words that are taboo to other groups.  African-Americans use the n-word all the time, just as white people throw the term "white trash" around as both an insult and even a term of twisted endearment, but that doesn't mean people of other ethnicities can use either term without consequence.

I am not naive enough to think we live in a world without racial issues.  In fact, I hope that my book will give those who have never experienced prejudice the opportunity to think about it in a new way, especially in terms of how our decaying environment one day may turn around the status quo.

You're certainly naive enough to think the world is going to embrace a white woman trying to comment on the plight of black people in the most unintentionally racist way imaginable.


It's safe to say that, while on American soil, I have never suffered from prejudice.  That I haven't a clue what it would be like to be in the minority.  That as a white woman who was raised in a white community, I take many social or economic issues for granted.

Then why did you think you were qualified to write about prejudice?  Though I am relieved to see a hint of self-awareness here, at least...

Whites will remain a majority for some time.  However, the trend is clear, considering the aging white population, and the median age of Latinos in their peak fertility years.

There's no doubt about it, my progeny, if they are white, will be in the minority.  A lot has been said about what this change will mean to the economy.  In fact, if we depended on white births alone, the country would eventually be dead.

...aaaaaaaaand that hint of self-awareness is dead.  Seriously, did you even THINK before uttering this quote that sounds like it came from the Stormfront website?  (I am not linking that site, by the way...)  It sounds like you're trying to justify your book's atrocious existence by saying "look, it could REALLY happen, colored people are going to take over the country!"

In Revealing Eden, the depleted environment brings about extreme social change.  However we get there, eventually, the majority will be non-white, and the actors, models, teachers and politicians will reflect the new status quo.

Perceptions of beauty also will likely change.  Access to jobs and education will probably shift too.  And possibly, past cycles of prejudice may replay... with the tables turned?

This is sounding more and more like a white supremacist panicking that "political correctness" is going to result in racism against white people.  Stop it, Foyt.

I don't harbor fears that the existing minority races are waiting for the day they can take revenge on whites.  I hope that we are as a whole more evolved, and have learned vital lessons during the Civil Rights era.

However, I think it's important to imagine how you would feel if you wore the proverbial other shoe.  If you knew that, in your lifetime, things would change, would you act differently?...

I like to imagine a caramel-colored future where racial lines are indistinct and issues of prejudice a thing of the past.  Where inner beauty and character are valued over a pretty face.  Perhaps, because I'm in the majority, I can ponder such issues with what some may say is naivete.  I would call it hope.

Your words and your implications are saying two very different things here.  You may not have intended what you just said to come across as a racist shrieking that "colored people are taking over the world!" but that's sure what you sound like.  Sometimes, Foyt, it's better to keep your mouth shut than to say "I'm not racist, but..."  And yes, I would call it naivete -- because you're naive enough to think that you're at all qualified to make a commentary about race and prejudice when you a) haven't lived through it yourself and b) haven't studied it in-depth.

Also, racism is about a LOT more than beauty... but as you've just proven with Revealing Eden, beauty is apparently the be-all and end-all of the universe.  Given that you're an actress, perhaps that's your take on the world, but reality is much more complex than Hollywood would want us to believe.


I would like to address the recent accusations of racism that have been aimed at my YA novel, Revealing Eden, Save the Pearls Part One.

Some have taken offense at the cover photo on the dust jacket of a blond, blue-eyed girl with her white face half covered in dark.  Without reading the novel or understanding the premise, some believe that the photo shows the girl in "blackface."  Nothing could be further from the truth.

Your white protagonist and every other white person in the novel paints themselves black to "pass" as black people.  HOW IS THIS NOT BLACKFACE?  Yes, the characters may not be doing it to mock black people, as blackface was used long ago, but still, it's blackface.  If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, calling it by any other name isn't going to change what it is.

First, consider that the basis of all prejudice is judging a book by its cover.  To condemn any book on the basis of its cover is hardly different than condemning a total stranger because of the color of his/her skin.  How can you critique or damn a book if you haven't read it?  This kind of blind attack is exactly what creates racism or condemned many progressives as communists in the Fifties.

"WAAAAAAAH judging my book by its terrible cover is as bad as being racist!  If you hate Revealing Eden you're racist!  If you judge books by their covers you're as bad as the McCarthyists who ruined lives during the Communist witch-hunts!"  Come on, Foyt... grow up and stop falling into hyperbolic accusations just because people pointed out how problematic your book's cover and Midnight Luster "blackface" concept are.

The use of blackface presents a mockery or travesty of African Americans' lives.  Eden Newman wishes to "Great Earth" that she had dark skin, not because she wants to make fun of people with dark skin, but because she admires their status and is jealous of the genetic advantage they offer against "The Heat."

Blackface is still blackface, no matter why it's used.  The main character in The Jazz Singer (both versions) dons blackface in a pivotal scene, but in the 1927 version it's part of the main character's journey to self-expression, while in the 1980 remake with Neil Diamond it's so he can sneak into a black nightclub without getting the tar beat out of him.  And in Tropic Thunder, Robert Downey Jr.'s character undergoes a medical procedure to dye his skin black in an extreme case of method acting.  It's STILL blackface, regardless of context, and it's still bound to get someone's shorts in a knot when it crops up in a work, which is why it has to be used VERY carefully... something Foyt didn't do.

Why are whites called Pearls, while blacks are called Coals?  Imagine a gritty, post-apocalyptic world where all that matters is survival.  What good would a pearl do you when luxury items have no use?  Coal has energy, fire, and real value.  It is durable and strong, not easily crushed like a pearl.  Pearl is a pejorative term here.  Coals are admired.  Coals oppose Pearls because they fear that those with light skin will add to a population unable to survive "The Heat," and drain meager resources.

I covered why this was so problematic in an earlier spork -- assuming gemstones will have no value in the future is ridiculous, after all, and "Pearl" has ALWAYS meant "something of great value" -- but I'd like to emphasize here that this retcon on the part of the author means NOTHING once the book has already been published.  You can say all you want after the fact to cover your butt, Foyt, but seeing as you left it out of the book, it does no good to scream "it's not like that!" now.  Next time either include your (flimsy) justification in the book proper, or (far more preferably) pick more sensible terms for your characters to throw around.

Also, your lousy justification is rendered moot by your own text, which states that "Coal" is an "incendiary racial slur" right in the first chapter.

Artists provoke to get their point across.  I abhor racism.  In Revealing Eden, I aimed to turn racism on its head in order to portray its horrors and its inevitable road to violence.  I believe that anyone who reads the novel will understand its strong stance against racism.

*coughcoughcough*  I read the whole thing, Foyt.  And the entire thing smacks of racism in and of itself.  Switching around the persecuted party does NOT a good critique of racism make, especially when you fall back on so many horrible and lazy racist stereotypes in the process.

And there is reason to support my belief when you consider that the novel has won five literary awards, including the Eric Hoffer Best Young Adult Novel 2012 (Eric Hoffer was a great humanitarian), or that Marianne Williamson called it on her Facebook page, "A fascinating story... for lovers of all ages!" or that dozens of reviewers from the San Francisco Book Review to Fresh Fiction to many book bloggers have embraced it with glowing reviews.

The Eric Hoffer award is widely known for being a "pay to win" award, if not an outright scam, and this link on a writer's forum hints that most, if not all, of the awards given to Revealing Eden are questionable at best, and "pay to win" at worst.

Also, Foyt, Fifty Shades of Grey, Twilight, and Me Before You have proven to the world that "popularity" does not necessarily equal "quality."  Just because people read it doesn't mean it's GOOD.  Or that it has an important message that shouldn't be questioned.

And if you ask if all these reviewers are white then consider that you have a racist point of view.

"If you think my book is bad you're automatically a racist!"  Grow up, Foyt.

Final Thoughts

Revealing Eden is the reason I started this blog in the first place, and while I plan to continue this blog beyond Eden, it's going to be a little weird continuing on beyond it.  Perhaps I WILL revisit that sequel someday, though not right away.  Like I said earlier, my brain can only handle so much of Eden Newman at a time before it demands a break.  Maybe in another year or two...

Revealing Eden is awful.  Even disregarding the subject matter, it's an awful book.  The writing is terrible, the main character is an unlikable Mary Sue, the romance is gag-inducing, the plot has more holes than a colander and relies on Deus Ex Machina to resolve itself, and the author can't be bothered to actually do research unless it suits her.  It should never have seen publication -- and indeed, I strongly suspect the only reason this book got printed is because Foyt or someone close to her owned the publishing company, a theory supported by the fact that this book and its sequel are the only books Sand Dollar Press has published to date.

And as a book meant to decry racism as evil, it fails terribly.  It takes more than swapping out which ethnicity is being persecuted to make a statement about racism -- do you honestly think white people are unable to understand how terrible racism is unless they're the persecuted minority?  And it doesn't help your cause when you indulge in constant racist imagery throughout your novel -- comparing black people to beasts, giving them laughably stereotypical names and appearances, having your precious white protagonist live in constant fear of being attacked and raped by SCARY BLACK MEN, turning your black love interest into a literal beast and having the protagonist ride him like a horse... and that's just scratching the surface.

There's also the furry-romance aspect, which I suspect must have been added to the book when Foyt stumbled onto the furry fandom and decided to appeal to that niche in an effort to gain a cult following.  I have nothing against furries and I seriously doubt her decision to incorporate furry romance into her novel contributed to its failure, but I do think this was a bad choice on her part.  Furries would no doubt be turned off by the book's horrific concept, and non-furries would just be weirded out by the human/jaguar-hybrid making out and steer clear.  

Foyt seems to have vanished off the Internet since her books caused such a stir -- the last activity I can find regarding her seems to be a piece of short fiction published to a blog in September 2013 where Eden has an encounter with an encantado (a Brazilian mythological creature that can shapeshift into a river dolphin).  And I'm going to guess her book bombed pretty hard and the ensuing controversy made it hard for her to find work, as she ended up having to sell her California mansion.  I have to wonder if she's wised up about her work and is keeping her head low, or if she's still as clueless as ever and plans on gracing the world with a third volume in her Save the Pearls series.  Please, no...

This is the worst book I have ever read.  It's badly written, badly researched, and fails horribly at being a cry against racism.  The only possible book that might take its place on that list is The Legend of Rah and the Muggles by N. K. Stouffer (a.k.a. the lady who sued J. K. Rowling over use of the word "muggle"), and even it, for all its awfulness, doesn't overflow with unfortunate implications in every chapter.

And now... this blog will be taking a break until sometime in January.  Once it starts up again, we'll be taking aim at a new book, a fantasy that doesn't seethe with racist implications like Revealing Eden or homophobia like Hamlet's Father, but should still be entertaining nonetheless.  Stay tuned for Bitterwood, by James Maxey.

Looks awesome, doesn't it?
Careful, Covers Always Lie...

Wednesday, December 6, 2017

Chapters 42 and 43 -- It's the End of the Book As We Know It (And I Feel Fine)

One more time, folks... 


I'm going to combine the last two chapters of Revealing Eden into one post.  These are short chapters that just serve to wrap things up, and at any rate I just want to be DONE with this freakin' book.  Thank you all for joining me on this journey... it's been a wild and crazy ride, and while it's been fun in a perverse way I'll be very glad when it's over.

So... we just had our Deus Ex Machina of an ending, with our misplaced Aztec warriors swooping in to save everyone's butts with very little effort extended by our protagonist Eden.  Yay.  *sarcasm*  Now we see what kind of undeserved happy ending is in store for our racist little brat and her jaguar-furry boyfriend.

Chapter 42 opens with Eden working in the garden.  Amazingly, despite showing no evidence of character development over the course of this novel, she's perfectly happy digging in the dirt and being one with nature all of a sudden.

Eden stood up, rubbing the small of her back.  She had been digging up vegetables for hours, though the time had passed easily.  She enjoyed the rich, earthy smell of the dirt; even more, being part of Mother Earth's nurturing cycle.  It also felt good to be of use to the Huaorani who had given her so much.  Now that their location had been discovered, they needed to relocate. -- p. 298

AND WHOSE FAULT IS THAT I WONDER, HMM?  If there was any sense of justice in this book, Eden would see some actual consequences for almost getting the entire village killed and forcing them to uproot and move.  But no, our "heroine" can't be seen as anything but a pure and good soul, so she's not going to be ostracized or hated for her actions.  No sir-ee, can't have that for our happy ending, can we?

So Eden's helping the village pack up... and apparently her father's going to remain with the tribe.  Also, that miracle plant she and Bramford dug up has magically healed both her father's sickness and her own broken ribs and cut hand.  Um... I'm pretty sure magical healing plants don't actually exist, and while I won't deny that perhaps there are plants with healing properties hidden away in undiscovered nooks in the Amazon and elsewhere, I doubt they're THIS powerful.  Healing plants don't work like potions in video games, people...

Also, apparently tomorrow Bramford and Logan will undergo the adaptation and leave forever.  I thought Eden had destroyed her father's equipment?  Either Dr. Newman was smart and kept backups of his work, or Foyt just doesn't care enough to keep continuity between chapters only a dozen or so pages apart.  I think I know which is the correct answer...

Who has time to check for continuity errors when there's
racist furry romance to sell?

Eden would just die if her father continued to stand in the way of her happiness.  He had been too consumed with work to talk to her -- back to his old tricks.

But time was running out; frenetic birdcalls announced the end of the day.  Eden couldn't wait another minute to settle her future. -- p. 298-299

Waaaaaaaaaaaaaah, don't care, girl.


Eden barges into her father's lab, announcing "we have to talk" with no regard to the fact that her father's working.  She does have to take a moment to ogle Bramford and go "weak at the knees" for him, and to say hi to Kevon.

Wait, Kevon, you say?  You don't remember Kevon?  He's the young FFP soldier who was so painstakingly set apart from the others in the last chapter.  Apparently the Aztecs recognized his "playful spirit" and spared him, and the Huaorani adopted him into their tribe.  Okay...?  This contributes absolutely nothing to the plot.  Why was this included?  Did Foyt make plans to incorporate another character and then forget to do anything with said plans?  You can't just introduce a new character for the sake of having more characters, they have to contribute SOMETHING to the plot.

Eden drags her father outside, and despite the fact that he's still walking with a cane she marvels at how fast he's recovered and wishes her mother had been able to take Newman's Cure.  Oh great, she DID name the plant after herself.  Someone gimmie a dart gun, we need to puncture this girl's ego...

Oh, and guess who else we see?  Austin, the apparently immortal dog, playing with the girls' pet macaw.  I guess Foyt couldn't bring herself to even let the dog die and dosed him with the miracle plant.  Pardon me while I roll my eyes back into my skull...


Foyt, you do know that it's okay to occasionally have your "good guy" characters die and stay dead, right?  Even if they're dogs?  This kind of cheapens Austin's heroic sacrifice, and having this dog cheat death not once but twice just makes the whole thing incredibly cartoony.  Leave the constant "coming back to life" schtick to Kenny from South Park and Optimus Prime from Transformers, will you?

Seriously, he's died 24 times to date and is still kicking...
there's a reason the fans call him "Robot Jesus"

Logan's playing with the girls too, and Eden's all fluttery that he called her "Mama."  Quite frankly, Eden, I think you'd make a terrible mother -- you're narcissistic and hateful enough that any kids should be kept far away from you.  Besides, who's to say the poor kid didn't just mistake you for Rebecca, his biological mother, for a moment?

In the meantime, Eden presses her father about joining Bramford in his transformation.

"Please tell me you've changed your mind."

"Just as I suspected, the pheromone signals between you and Bramford are now quite evident."

"Then you should understand."

"Indeed, I do.  However, it is my responsibility to weigh the consequences since the increased flow of hormonal activity in your brain prevents you from having an objective view." -- p. 300

Eesh... Foyt, you do realize that scientists are capable of talking like normal people, right?  You don't have to keep making Dr. Newman talk like a walking thesaurus...

Eden tells him she promised Mother she'd take care of him, and reminds him of the lines from the Emily Dickinson poem -- "That Love is all there is, / Is all we know of Love."  Somehow this is argument enough to get him to change his mind, and after asking if this is really what Eden wants he starts gushing about how wonderful it'll be that Eden will be "the mother of a newly adapted race" and how she, her children, and others like her will eventually reclaim the land.  Ugh... isn't the girl's ego huge enough already?  Stop feeding the monster, dammit.

"Your mother didn't mind being a Pearl as much as she disliked that absurd label.  She regretted what our coloring did to other people and so she covered.  Perhaps she would have admired your choice after all." -- p. 301-302

Well, at least ONE character admits that Pearl is a stupid name for people... seriously, the one reasonable character in this book is dead.  Highly unfair.

So Dr. Newman tells Eden he'll let her adapt if she helps him take off the ridiculous Midnight Luster coating, and end chapter.  On to 43... and we're almost done!  Whoo hoo!


Too excited for sleep, Eden lay in bed, tingling with anticipation for the big day.  In just a few hours, she would undergo the adaptation with Bramford and Logan.  They would form a family, and perhaps one day -- did she dare hope -- there would be more children.  She and her mate would, well, mate. -- p. 303

And may God have mercy on our souls and let us be spared the sex scene involving jaguar furries... seriously, if you want jaguar furry porn, FurAffinity is free and at least most of it is not racist...

Eden gets out of bed and looks out the window at "the beauty of a full moon pinned on the velvet sky."  These random bits of purple-prose description feel tacked on, especially compared to the bland "beige" of the rest of the prose.

But would panic seize her the next morning when she groggily rubbed her face and felt unusual features?  Suppose she didn't like the way she looked?

She and Bramford would be two of a kind, a pair -- that was all that mattered.  Yes, but here was the bigger question: would he still be attracted to her? -- p. 303

This would actually be an interesting thing to explore -- regret over the transformation, and having to come to terms with both her shape change and the fact that Bramford might not find her attractive anymore.  And horror of horrors, they might actually have to learn to love each other for something other than physical beauty!  But I doubt Foyt is thinking that deeply here...

Eden feels a "warm vibration in her belly" that's apparently an indicator that Bramford is near.  I think that's called "gas," Eden...  Bramford's swimming in the water hole, brooding, and she runs outside to be with him.

He turned and smiled at her, which gave her a dewy feeling.  The water lapped at his wide shoulders.  Wet hair tangled around the rugged, chiseled face she loved.  Soft moonlight haloed his head.  My Jaguar Man. -- p. 304

Awkward romantic prose to the very end...
Never change, Foyt.

Bramford invites her into the water, and asks her if she's scared.  She admits "a little" and asks if she likes Logan's painting of her.  He admits it doesn't capture her beauty -- will you people STOP feeding this girl's enormous ego?  She doesn't need it inflated anymore...

Also apparently Bramford taught Logan to paint, not Rebecca, and Eden realizes the R. B. on the woman-and-jaguar painting stands for Ronson Bramford, not Rebecca Bramford.  Apparently we can't let Rebecca have ANY positive aspects, because we can't have any good memories of her standing in the way of our furry-tale romance between Eden and Bramford, can we?  *gags*

"What if someone painted my portrait after today?" she said.  "How would it look then?"

Bramford gave her a vacant look, then, as understanding seemed to flood his face, he laughed.  "Will I still find you beautiful after the adaptation?  Is that it?"  Before she could respond, he added, "Then what are you worried about?"

"I haven't changed my mind," she said quickly.

"You don't have to sacrifice your beauty for me, Eden," he said, though the trace of regret in his voice worried her. -- p. 305

No, please, have her sacrifice her supposed beauty.  Let our protagonist get ONE lesson through her thick skull -- that beauty isn't the be-all and end-all of the universe.  

Eden watched in agony as he waded towards her, his expression serious.  Water streamed in rivulets off his dark, glistening body, which carved the pearly light. -- p. 306

Why do romance novels insist on saving their most flowery descriptive parts for descriptions of the love interest's body?  Yeesh...

"You and Logan only will adapt to my current stage," Bramford said.  "I'll wait for you to adjust -- however long it takes.  When you're ready, we'll proceed together to the final stage.  Okay?"

Until he said it, Eden didn't know how relieved she would be.  "Okay, that would be easier," she replied, and slowly exhaled.  However, the question remained unanswered.  "Or are you simply afraid of how I'll look fully adapted?"

He put his arms around her, the wet heat of his body making her shiver.

"Don't you understand?" he said.  "You'll be even more beautiful to me because you'll be mine." -- p. 306

Yay... not

Another snippet of an Emily Dickinson poem, and Bramford picks her up and carries her into the water.  A shooting star crosses the sky, just to hammer home how MAGICAL this ROMANTIC moment is supposed to be.  I think I'm gonna be sick...

He began to swing her like a lazy pendulum, back and forth, in the soft water.  It slipped under her dress, playing over her body.  Her limbs felt as pliant and free as an animal's?  Why even bother to catalog a particular species? -- p. 307

Because Foyt couldn't let us go without a last bit of awkward quasi-romantic description, right?

He curled her tight against him, growling lustily.

"It's time," he said.

Her eyes widened.  "For what?"

"Jaguars love to swim.  And I'm going to teach you how.  Let's begin with a kiss."  He teased her lips with his, then whispered.  "Are you ready, Eden?"

"Yes, I'm ready." -- p. 307

And end chapter AND book, thankfully before we can get the sex scene being so obviously hinted at here.  Phew.

That's it, folks.  Revealing Eden has come to a close. There ain't no more.  Cue the "Hallelujah Chorus" and break out the champagne, we can finally celebrate that the misadventures of Eden Newman and her jaguar-hybrid boyfriend have come to an end -- curiously before the actual adaptation can take place -- and we'll never be seeing them again.  No more Eden, no more Coals and Pearls, no more saving the world by turning people into furries, no more racist writing trying to pass itself off as anti-racist...

Wait... what's this on the next page?  What's this advertisement for?

No... it's not true... it's impossible!


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NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO


Final wrap-up and thoughts on this horrible, horrible book next post.