Chapter 37 - Where's the Brain Bleach?

Keep some brain bleach on hand, folks, this chapter contains squick...

We get some awkward description to start this chapter -- "Like steel knives, the morning light angled into the center of the compound and burned Eden's skin" -- and Eden starts looking around for "her Jaguar Man."  Yes, that's exactly how the text spells it out -- HER Jaguar Man.  Possessive, much?  Though I do hope this spells the end of the "I hate you, I love you, I hate you" seesaw we've been getting this entire book...

What if he had hidden in the nearby bush like a wounded animal on the verge of dying?  He might leave this earth and never know how she felt about him. -- p. 261

I dunno, maybe he'd rather die here than hear that a snotty little brat is in love with him...

She starts walking around calling for Bramford as if he were a dog, and the Huaroani stare at her while the two girls skip after her as if it's a game.  Eden thinks that "the Indians might not care if Bramford met the Great Snake in the sky," though it could be they're not worried because they know he can take care of himself? 

She whines about the heat hurting her feet, then trips over a root and falls into the garden patch.  She spots red patches on her arms and legs and immediately thinks she's getting The Heat, though generally sunburn doesn't show up in patches unless you really suck at putting on sunscreen.  Maybe it's actually poison ivy or some other rash?

Bramford shows up and wants to know what Eden's doing.  His eyes are bloodshot, he has claw marks across his chest, and he looks "battle-weary," so I'm sure our protagonists who WUVS him oh so much will be sympathetic, right?

Oh, you silly reader...

"For Earth's sake, why didn't you answer me?  I've been screaming your name.  Don't tell me you didn't hear me!" -- p. 262

I should know by now not to expect our protagonist to have a shred of empathy for anyone else...

...she detected a great shift in him.  The uneasy alliance between man and beast, which had swung back and forth, now settled in favor of his savage side with solemn gravity. -- p. 262

...I don't even know.  He's been perfectly civil toward you, why are you suddenly thinking he's gone beastly?  Is this supposed to be attractive or something?

Inches away, his scent rushed over her and left her lightheaded.  His indifferent gaze traveled from her shorn locks to the short hem of her dress.  She felt naked before him, excitedly so.  And ready for the compliments she expected. -- p. 262

Wow, literal animal lust and egotism in one short blurb.  Eden hasn't changed a bit over the course of this fic, no matter how much Foyt insists otherwise.

Bramford offers no compliments, just points out short hair will give her a sunburn on her neck.  She snaps back "what do you care?" and screams that he obviously doesn't care and that if he hadn't gone away, her father might not be dying.  I guess we're still on this freaking see-saw...

Eden tells Bramford that there's a plant that will save her father's life and that they should leave right now.  She doesn't even ask, just orders Bramford around (though she takes a break to get lost in his "penetrating stare").  Remind me again how a book that has an arrogant white woman ordering a black man around is supposed to be anti-racist?

Bramford goes to check on Dr. Newman, who's babbling nonsense and feverish and ends up calling Eden "Lilly."  That's enough to convince him that they need to go, and he agrees to go with her.  Eden hides the Life-Band in her chest bindings and decides "their salvation must come from the natural world."  She also thinks "catalog and reverie," which I have no idea what that's supposed to mean.

Eden uses her "finely developed researcher's skills" to memorize the leaf -- though we've seen no evidence of those skills so far (unless knowing a ton of Latin names counts), so this comes off as an Informed Ability instead of an actual talent or skill.  Then they're off.

Bramford puts Eden on his shoulders... which seems like a really weird way to carry someone.  Having someone sitting on your shoulders doesn't seem like a good way to carry someone long-distance, and can't Eden walk on her own?  It's not like she's lame or anything... oh wait, she has to sit on his shoulders so we can have faux-sexy passages like this:

An electric current ran through her at his touch.  Eden leaned her hips against the back of his head, thrilled to be back on her special perch.  She dug her hands into his silky hair, holding steady, as they flew across the compound. -- p. 264

Believe it or not, this isn't the worst "sexy" part of this chapter... get your brain bleach ready.

Bramford points to a mountain with a halo of clouds and identifies it as "Heaven's Gate."  He also mentions it's called that because you have to die to get there.  Oh, sounds promising, please tell me Eden ends up there!

The New Eden was eager to meet the world with an open and fearless heart.  She wondered how such a giving place could have once terrified her. -- p. 265

I'm sorry, I'm not buying that Eden's become this "New Eden" so fast.  When she's done nothing but whine and whinge about the jungle up until this point, she's not going to become some nature-loving free spirit overnight.  Even during and right after her and Bramford's little outing in the jungle, she was still hating the jungle.  Did a chapter get cut where Eden has some sort of epiphany about the natural world and her place in it?  Or does Foyt just suck at plotting things out?  I can guess which is the correct answer already...

They keep running through the jungle, Eden identifies animals along the way (thankfully few Latin names -- I guess Foyt got tired of hitting Wikipedia for every critter), Eden feels like something's spying on them and Bramford says it's "nature," more awkward descriptions of jungle and wind... boring stuff so far...

I was going to go with the yawning jaguar image just because

it fits this book, but it looked more like it was roaring than

yawning.  I went with this one because I needed the laugh.

Then it gets weird.  And uncomfortable.  Brace yourselves...

She wasn't surprised when Bramford reached up to shift her weight just as she registered a backache.  She recognized a silent communication that took place between them.  They were in tune, as easily as the jungle life that seemed to play a never-ending song. -- p. 266

Sorry, I can buy that close couples can have a strong bond, but these two have only been close a few days, a week at most.  And becoming one with nature isn't going to make you a telepath.

His hands slipped down her sides, lingering on her thighs.  Warm, tingling sensations flowed through her.  She fisted her hands in his hair and heard him rumble.

The forest sounds dropped away, replaced by the rapid pounding of her heart.  Eden forgot the passing scenery and their destination.  Only the hot press of his hands on her bare skin, the tilt of his head brushing her inner leg, and her burning ache consumed her.  The more pleasure she experienced, the bolder his touch grew.  Now his hand trailed up and down the whole of her leg.

She dared to test the boundaries of their body language and flexed her thighs around his neck.  Unbelievably, his gait slowed.  A feverish thrill shot through Eden.  She could guide Bramford with a mere squeeze.

Did she dare push him further?  She couldn't resist the wild urge to flick her hips against his shoulders.  At once he picked up speed.  She almost squealed -- his raw animal power was at her command.

Eden pressed her body against the back of Bramford's powerful head, rocking to the rhythm of his quick pace.  A gush of pleasure swept through her.  Like fire and ice.  Like sweet, dripping honey.

Again, she pushed her hips, harder now, and waited breathlessly.  He tightened his hold on her legs, the heat from his fingers burning into her as he sped faster. - p. 266-267

Yes, I gave you that whole chunk of chapter unedited, just so you can suffer along with me.  Feel the burn, folks...

Yeah, not only is this bit more stomach-churning than "sexy," but it's just brimming with implications of slavery -- the whole "his power was hers to command" and the fact that she's riding him like a freaking horse just doesn't sit well at all.  In my mind OR in my stomach.  

For the record, this bit was actually another scene from the book that made the rounds of the Internet when this book first came out.  I'm shocked that someone else made it THIS deep into the book to find something abhorrent to share with the rest of the world, but hey, some of us had to sacrifice so that others could be warned of the horror...

We close out this chapter with another random Emily Dickinson poem, which I won't share because the poor woman's name has been disgraced enough.  And not a moment too soon... I dunno how much more "sexy furry scenes with strong racist implications" I could take.

On a random note, I don't believe we've gotten Dr. Newman's first name at all in this book, or if we have I've forgotten it amidst the sheer horror of the rest of the text.  I really hope it's George, though.  Just because it would make this book a TINY bit more bearable to imagine that Eden's father looks like this:

I wouldn't want Weird Al's name associated with this garbage either,

but he'd at least bring a little humor to the mess