Chapter 38 -- Don't Go Chasing Waterfalls

Title stolen from the song by TLC.

Six chapters to go... we can do this!

The chapter opens with Eden listening "in suspense" to a loud rumbling sound.  Suspense works best when you imply it through the writing, not when you outright state in the text that there's supposed to be suspense at the moment.  That's like playing a horror game and the game displaying the words JUMP SCARE in big text instead of actually providing a jump scare -- it just doesn't work.

This moment wouldn't have worked nearly as well if it just consisted

of a big sign reading JUMP SCARE... though that might have

been funny...

Of course the rumbling is a waterfall blocking their path -- the rule of the Inevitable Waterfall states that in every piece of fiction featuring a river, there'll be a waterfall serving as an obstacle.  At least this book KINDA subverts it by having the characters not actually traveling by river when the inevitable falls pop up, even if they're still an obstacle.

We also get some attempts at pretty description here, with mist blowing past Eden and Bramford and a "delicate rainbow... like a stairway to heaven."  Did Foyt just decide to incorporate titles from her playlist in an effort to spice up her writing or something?

Yes, I like Wayne's World, sue me...

Bramford set her on the ground and stood behind her, his hands lingering at her waist.  His warm breath fell on her like feathery blows.  Eden drank in the majestic view and the delicious feel of his hold on her.  Giddy, she turned and smiled at him.  When he smiled back, she thought it was the happiest moment of her life. -- p. 269

Okay, just last chapter (a few hours or so ago but still the same day in-story) you were screaming at this man and accusing him of not caring about you.  I don't think you get to play lovey-dovey now, girl.  I think I'm really starting to like the theory of Eden suffering from some kind of personality disorder, even if it's not what Foyt intended.

There's no bridge over the falls, but conveniently there's a path behind the falls consisting of wide flat stones forming a ledge.  There's no way Bramford can carry her across without risking them both falling, so Eden's going to have to cross on foot.  

One slip from that terrifying height -- Eden shuddered to think of it.  Would she really have to die to reach Heaven's Gate? -- p. 270

Oh, please, do it... end the readers' suffering...

My reaction if Eden ever bites it

Bramford points her across, but she shakes her head.  He looks disappointed, which she hates, but she thinks "she really wanted to be his she-cat.  But even she-cats had their limits..."  You do realize there's a proper name for female cats, right?  Queens?  Heck, it even sounds royal, which should please our narcissistic main character to no end.  She-cat just sounds stupid.

Bramford gestures for her to wait -- I was going to gripe that the sudden turn to miming was ridiculous but I guess the waterfall DOES drown out normal speech, so I guess there's a scrap of logic here -- and goes to head across himself.  Eden suddenly remembers Maria saying that El Tigre (sigh) doesn't understand, and decides it means the plant is delicate and Eden needs to go along with him to make sure it isn't damaged.  Um... implying Bramford is a big beastly brute is kinda racist in and of itself... but then, what about this book hasn't been racist?

Eden nods to indicate she'll go, and Bramford points down... to indicate not to look down?  Seems counter-intuitive.  Then again, just flat-out telling someone "don't look down" tends to get them to look down, so maybe he's trying reverse psychology on Eden.  I dunno.

The image of the girl wandering in the jungle beside the jaguar floated into her mind.  This was her chance.  Be like her, Eden. -- p. 270

Whatever psychs you up, I guess.  Though I thought you didn't want to be like Rebecca... 

Bramford starts to edge onto the rocks, and Eden grabs his hand and follows.  The ledge is slippery and the spray from the falls is soaking them, and Eden has to "recalibrate her balance" with each step.  I don't know many people who use the word "recalibrate" in ordinary conversation, but then, we have to hammer in how SMART our protagonist by using big and/or Latin words at every chance, I guess.

They progressed at a snail's pace.  She knew Bramford could have sprinted across.  And yet, he adjusted his speed to hers, the grip of his hand always encouraging.

So different than the man she once knew. -- p. 271

Um... how is this Bramford different from the one at the beginning of the book (besides now being a furry, I mean)?  We didn't get any indication that he was arrogant or cruel or self-centered, except the author expecting us to take Eden's word for it.  Show, don't tell, girl.

They get halfway across... and because the rules of DRAMA demand it, part of the ledge of rocks is missing.  There's a three-foot gap which Bramford could apparently cross easily, but Eden will have to jump.  She starts to panic, and Bramford gives her the option to go back.

Was this where her reveries had led her?  Did she really think she could outwit her fate as a lowly Pearl and become a brave she-cat just because she went natural and cut off her hair?

Serves you right, Eden.

And yet, she had come so far.  If she gave into her fear now, she might never again feel the warm press of his hand or see the tender look in his glistening, green eyes.

And that would be a fate worse than death.  -- p. 272

I think your definition of "going natural" is different from a lot of other people's, girl...  And it's nice to know that the only reason our protagonist wants to change is because she's in love.  I'm not against romance in fiction, I swear... I just hate that it's used so often as the only motivation for a female protagonist to do anything heroic.  Especially in teen fiction, which falls back on it so much it's maddening.

Bramford leaps across, and Eden panics again and thinks about turning back... but somehow the memory of her mother's last breath reminds her that she "had tried so hard to deny her feelings that she had also forgotten about love," and that she can't live outside of herself anymore.  What does this have to do with ANYTHING going on right now?

Eden FINALLY jumps, and Bramford catches her by the bindings around her chest and yanks her onto the ledge.  I'd give anything right now for the bindings to rip and the Life-Band she stashed in there to fall out, just to watch Bramford lose his cool.  Evil, perhaps, but true.

They make it to the end, Bramford hugs her and says he's proud of her and "you'll be a she-cat yet."  Then they walk into a grove of trees that remind Eden of "reverent monks in contemplation," and I have to wonder why, in a future that's supposedly abandoned religion, there are so many references to religion in Eden's thoughts.

And because we have to fall into yet another cliche of bad fiction, Eden remembers the grassy plateau they're now on -- it's the same one from her dreams where she was frolicking with Bramford.  Okay, I can buy prophetic dreams in fantasy settings or in settings where it's established a character has precognition of some kind... but dreams that predict the future are not only cliche, but horribly out of place in a setting that's supposed to be semi-realistic.  Had this book established that precognition was a thing beforehand, it wouldn't be so bad (if still cliche), but as it is it feels like a sloppy shortcut.

Bramford tumbles Eden onto the grass just like in their dream, and they lay in the grass for awhile because why not, it's not as if someone's DYING back at camp and needs the plant they came here for, right?  RIGHT?

A breeze rustled through the trees, filling her head with Bramford's scent.  Aching, she turned and saw her desire mirrored in his eyes.

"This is heaven," she said.

Bramford draped an arm round her waist, pulling her close.  "Yes, Eden.  We're in heaven now." -- p. 274

If this segues into a sex scene next chapter, I swear to Primus I'll set it on fire before I finish.

Yup, that dramatic waterfall crossing took up a whole chapter.  Foyt really needs to learn proper pacing for her work.  Among many, many other things, apparently...

Five chapters to go... we're getting there...