Chapter 39 -- Eden Gets Busted

Carrying on...

Bramford and Eden are still lounging around in each other's arms at Heaven's Gate, never minding that Dr. Newman's dying back at camp.  Talk about skewed priorities...  Eden's stated to be feeling both "fire-pitch excitement" (huh?) and "languorous ease," which seems like a contradiction of terms, but that's just me.  She's wondering why Bramford doesn't kiss her, instead of, I dunno, worrying about getting the plant they need to save her father's freaking LIFE?

Bramford starts to say something, then looks behind them "in response to some mysterious signal."  There's some kind of stone terraces built behind them -- which, shockingly enough, actually exist in South America!  They were built by the Incas in order to farm better on the steep mountains, to provide actual flat areas for planting crops and to make better use of their water. 

Of course, Foyt botches her research here, as Bramford says these terraces were built by the Aztecs and they're thousands of years old.  Once again, the Incas built these -- the Aztecs were a kingdom in Mexico and Central America, NOT South America.  Also, the terraces only date back to the 1400s, so unless this book takes place WAY farther in the future than I assumed (I was assuming late 21st or early 22nd century), Eden fails at history and archaeology.

"Stupid!  You're so stupid!"

Yes, I like UHF, sue me...

Also apparently the ancestors of the Aztecs still live in these forests and have been hanging around spying on them.  *sigh*  I know Aztecs are more recognizable to most people than the Incas, but given that Foyt's already dragged an obscure tribe into this mess of a book, she has no excuse.

"Why aren't they excited to see you like the Huaorani?"

"Because you're here."  Bramford gave her a wry smile.  "You're cowode."

"Non-human, right?"

"I can smell their fear.  It's your skin." -- p. 276

Okay, the cowode belief -- outsiders being non-human -- is a Huaorani belief. WHY would the Aztecs be subscribing to a Huaorani belief?  Maybe Foyt's assuming that there's been some mixing of peoples and corruption of their beliefs over the years (though that's a a VERY big maybe), but since she hasn't said anything about said corruption or mixing, it's rather stupid to assume the reader will automatically assume that.

"Are they like you then?" she said.

"Not quite.  But more like me than you." -- p. 276

Oh Primus, don't tell me there's more jaguar-men in the jungle... I know, Bramford's trying to say that they're closer to nature like he is, but given how this book has gone so far, can you blame me for assuming the former at first?

They go to a promontory to take in the view, which is quite pretty, though I'm still not sure why they're pausing to sight-see like tourists when there's a man FREAKING DYING back at camp.  Honestly, it's like they've forgotten why they came here in the first place.

Eden felt as insignificant as a dust mote, but not unhappily so.  She believed she and Bramford always were meant to be there because the world revolved around them.  If only she could express her feelings to him.  A kiss would do, she thought, recalling the crush of his lips on hers. -- p. 277

There you have it, folks.  Eden flat-out stated the world revolves around her and Bramford.  It's official, this girl has an ego the size of a planet.

Maybe Gaston thinks books are worthless because

this is the first one he picked up?

Seriously, how else am I supposed to take that sentence?  It wasn't presented as "one could imagine the world revolved around them" or "as if the world revolved around them" or in any fashion that could be taken as metaphorical or anything.  If we take this sentence at face value -- and how else are we supposed to take it when Foyt provides no other interpretation? -- then Eden flat-out believes the world revolves around her.  If I honestly believed that Eden had improved over the course of this book (and I don't), this sentence would shred any progress she'd made to tiny bits.

They spot some vegetation that looks drab and out of place, and Eden realizes it's the cure.  Bramford makes some remark about being glad it's unknown or men would have ruined the place to harvest it.  I can fully appreciate conserving the environment and protecting wild places from being spoiled, but acting as if keeping one remote meadow pretty is more important than saving human lives with a valuable medicinal plant is ridiculous in my opinion.

Eden suggests they call the plant "Newman's Cure," proving that she really does believe it's all about her.  

[Bramford's] broad chest and shoulders formed an irresistible triangle above the slim hips. -- p. 277

Yes, the Grand High Triangle Lover from Sesame Street IS the

first thing that came to mind with that sentence...

"The Indians also believe [the plant] has power over death," he said.  "What if you could have that, Eden?  Would you stay as you are, or risk change?" 

She wanted to stay forever with Bramford at Heaven's Gate.  Nothing else mattered but this deep, simple happiness.  She held his intent gaze as the answer teased the tip of her tongue.  But old fears crowded in on her.  What did he mean by change?  Did he think she needed to improve? -- p. 277-278

Eden answers that the plant must be the proverbial Fountain of Youth, which disgusts Bramford and makes Eden wonder what she said that was so wrong.  Bramford, don't try to have deep philosophical conversations with someone who, for all Foyt wants us to believe is highly intelligent, is as shallow and dim as a mud puddle.  You're not going to get anywhere.

Bramford confesses he put Eden on probation way back in the early chapters of this book to protect her -- he expected the FFP to act that night and didn't want Eden in harm's way.  So he DID have feelings for her early on!  Poor guy... he has the worst taste in women...

...she had to confess the worst of her crimes, even if Bramford already knew, even if she lost him now.

She looked him in the eye and said, "You were right.  I let things slip -- Jamal used me to learn about my father's plans.  I guess I was showing off.  Stupid to think..."  he shook her head.  "I'm sorry.  I was wrong." -- p. 278

:o

Seriously?  She actually freakin' apologized?  Cue the Hallelujah chorus, it's a miracle!  Seeing as I can count on one hand the number of times Eden has shown any sort of decency in this book, I'd say this is cause for celebration... though I don't expect it to last terribly long.

Bramford just replies that "we all make mistakes" and maybe things were supposed to happen this way.  Only for plot convenience, Bramford, only for plot convenience...

"I just wish a beautiful girl like you hadn't gotten mixed up in this mess," he added.

Me?  She stared blankly at him.

He laughed.  "Don't tell me you don't know how beautiful you are, Eden."

"I'm a Pearl."

"So was my mate."

Stunned, she searched his eyes for the lie but only detected a warm glow.  But was he really thinking of her? -- p. 279

Oh boy... you called her pretty, Bramford.  We'll never quell her monstrous ego now.

Bramford says Rebecca was weak, that Logan was the result of a drunken one-night stand and he mated with Rebecca only for "the child's sake."  Because of course he couldn't have really loved his former mate -- I'm not a big romance fan but I've read enough of them to know that it's a nasty cliche to make the love interest's ex a complete jerk or bitch and make their relationship entirely loveless just to ensure that the romance that's central to the plot is TRUE LUV.

Bramford says that the fact that Eden looked just like his former mate "both attracted and irritated" him... and that he worried Eden would betray him like Rebecca did.  Yeah, she already did it, pal... I swear Eden's some kind of weird clone of Rebecca, personality and all.

Oh, and Bramford calls her his she-cat.  That term is STILL obnoxious, no matter how much Foyt tries to make it a term of endearment.

Probably the only movie where the term "she-cat" could be

remotely acceptable as a term of endearment

Then cue the awkward kiss scene.

Bramford nuzzled her neck then traced a line up to her lips.  With soft licks he parted her mouth.  Heat blazed like wildfire through her body.  Her mind went blank as he kissed her, deeply.

Eden closed her eyes, giving in to his hungry demands.  Their limbs intertwined until her body molded to his.  She sank into a river of bliss that swept her outside of time, outside of any barriers -- real or imagined -- and into a place where she thought anything was possible.  Even a future together.  When he released her, she knew she would never be the same. -- p. 280

Yeesh, are all kiss and romance scenes written this awkwardly?

Bramford says they should leave and goes to gather the plants he's harvested.  Eden decides now's the time to ditch the Life-Band and goes to hurl it off the cliff... but Bramford catches her in the act.  Busted!  Things are gonna get ugly...

Am I evil for hoping this breaks up our

happy couple?

Bramford demands to know if Eden used the Life-Band, and accuses her of using it to contact a lover.  She insists that she called Shen, his half-brother, and he hurls the band off the cliff.  

"I should leave you here," he said.

Eden muttered.  "Go ahead." -- p. 281

Oh, please, do it!  That would make this entire train-wreck worth it!

But nope, Bramford carries her away on his shoulders again.  Eden longs to command him with her hips again -- is this REALLY the time to be humping your cat-boyfriend's neck, girl? -- but thankfully decides to angst instead.

How fleeting her happiness had been.  Silent tears streamed down her cheeks as they left paradise behind.  And yet, despite the pain, Eden didn't regret loving Bramford.  Not for one second.

Only Aunt Emily had understood this exquisite burden. -- p. 281

You and Emily Dickinson are NOT the only people to have ever had your hearts broken, girl.  Stop pretending that you're the only one who suffers in the world.

Another Dickinson poem closes out this chapter.  Poor Emily... you didn't even want your poetry published while you were alive, and now someone's using it to try to add some class to their terrible racist dystopian furry romance.  If someone could resurrect you in the modern day, they should also teach you how to copyright your work so you could sue the pants off Victoria Foyt...